The Gotham Frugal

Mission Accomplished?

2007-12-17T15:41:00.000-08:00

Though I am cleared of a great deal of debt, there are some things that must be said. Maybe I cheated a bit. Maybe I applied some creative accounting, but in the end, my hustle and creativity knocked my debt way down and I will close this blog a richer person.

Some of my readers have noticed my absence. The reason is simple. I haven't been living by the code of the Gotham Frugal. In fact you might make the argument that I haven't done so for a long time. And only due to the intervention of a particularly generous visit from Santa, have I been able to pay off the remainder of the $4500 credit card bill that was the impetus for this blog.

About mid November I realized that I wouldn't be making my goal of paying off the credit card balance of $4500 in the time I had chosen. I suppose there were lots of things I could've done or not done to have made the goal possible without begging for some deus ex machina. There were trips I could've skipped, nights out I could've sat out and a few purchases I should've left on the shelf.

Let's take a look at some not so frugal things I've done. During the course of the blog the primary savings could have come from reducing my "entertainment" costs. I subscribe to Netflix, I also have cable, which for reasons I'll explain jumped from $90 to about $130. I also buy comic books. I never included these in my usual daily spending because they were pre-built into my budget. Some people consider a weekly bottle of wine part of their food budget, others might write up a trip to the salon, the shoe store or the spa for some body hair management as part of their budgets. These are things that some people consider luxuries, others consider them absolute necessities. It all depends on where your priorities lie. I always thought that $20 for Netflix was helping me stay indoors and save money, otherwise I might be tempted to go out and run around New York like the crazed antithesis of Scrooge McDuck. Cable is partly justifiable in that along with a pre-blog Sopranos fix, I was using it for high speed internet access, a vital component of the blogger's life.

So if I dropped six months of Netflix that would be $120 I'd have. If I dropped my $35-a-month comic book habit for the last six months I figure that would be $210. Then there is the jump in cable bill, knocking that out would yield me another $120. So $45o in savings and 6 months worth of boredom could be mine today and I would be $450 closer my goal. Big whoop. And if I did get this close I would end it all with a quick cash infusion from my savings account and worry about making it up later. All of which is rather moot, now that I've hit the mark.

But this doesn't change the fact that during the course of this blog I made one very large purchase that I will now reveal. For a long time I've wanted the complete home theater experience. Dolby sound, high definition television and the video player to go with it. Well along comes Sony with a special on a blu-ray player that happens to play games. Some people call it a Play Station 3. There was a $150 rebate being offered on Sony products for anyone who signed up for a credit card. This little offer was somewhat anathema to the whole Gotham Frugal getting rid of credit card debt thing, but it coincided with a 3 year no interest offer from Best Buy on HDTVs. Also I didn't have to pay interest on the new card for a year. When I pay off the balance, I'll probably cancel the card. I had been waiting for an event like this, and all the budget planets aligned, so I had to take the plunge.

Of course with the high definition TV, and the high definition dvd player, one needs to combine it with a high def sound system. This was tacked on to the credit card bill. I tried to combine it with the the Best Buy purchase because it too would fall under the 3-year no interest thing. But that didn't work out. And I have unfortunately discovered that 3 year, no-interest financing doesn't mean that you can buy something at price and pay it off gradually with out incurring extra charges. It was my vision to buy $3600 of equipment and just pay off $100 a month. This isn't how it works. Firstly, I didn't spend that much money. Secondly every month I get charged something called a debt cancellation fee. Last month Best Buy charged me $20 for upholding their promise of not charging me interest. This is somewhat disheartening considering that I've been paying off $50 a month towards that balance. It's something I need to call them about.

To top off all this spending, I had to get some high definition cable to go along with the whole thing. That ended up tacking on another $30 or $40. Right now I'm watching Frenchmen discuss their high-definition whale watching video. The show is soft, and introspective, and entirely self absorbed, much like the French themselves. Everything is full of beautiful moments. And looking at it on high def all of these expenses are totally worth it. Even if I had to be somewhat misleading with my blog.

So while I'm not totally credit card or debt free, I'm much closer to it. I've taken big steps forward and a couple of small steps back, and out of it I've gotten a blog that many like and a nice entertainment center. I know that I'm not done with living on a budget and curbing my spending. The days of expensive living are still far away but I'm pretty certain that I'll have everything squared away very soon. So maybe one more month of Frugal living to make everything work, but I can't say when that month will be.

Anyway, I hope you don't feel too let down or cheated by my adventures. If you do then I suggest you try living like I did and write your own truer, better blog. Good luck. I can't do this forever. So win or loose, you can judge. Let's just hope I never have to do it for so long again.

T-Day in B-Town

2007-11-26T09:19:00.000-08:00

I went to Boston for thanksgiving to hang out with my friends. Below are the highlights.

Wednesday: I took a $15 Lucky Star bus to Boston. I wrote on the way. Then I got together with my pals and we had dinner with psychiatric royalty, the granddaughter of someone very famous. I'm not saying who but I will say that during a Wednesday Thanksgiving dinner, this octogenarian managed to drop the phrase "cock tease" into the conversation. Ah, how I love dinner with the elders.

Thursday: Watched the bad lip syncing at the Macy's T-Day Parade. Then we watched the Puriana National Dog Show which was insanely good fun. Went to the home of two mathematicians, one was Yugoslavian, the other Japanese. There were 20 other people there and we drank cordial after unnamed Yugoslavian cordial. Color me drunk and full.

Friday: Breakfast, then we went to the Sam Adam's Brewery Tour. A bit of beer lore and then free beer. All for $2, so maybe not so free. Next was Regina's Pizza, so delicious. And in typical Bostonian fashion, someone played Sweet Caroline on the jukebox and the whole restaurant starting singing "Bum Bum BUM." Indeed, good times never felt so good.

Saturday: Alas, I had to be getting back to New Jack City, but first a little cold weather tour through some Chinese bakeries where my hosts were intent on scoring the ultimate pork bun. Unfortunately they were scoreless. Though I now have something new to try out in NYC's Chinatown. We also walked around Boston Commons a little. That's a nice scene. Then I hopped on the Fung Wah and had a five and one half bus ride home. In my casa I chillaxed, trip over.

Sunday I worked and tried to write. The novel continues. If only the Frugal blog counted towards it.

Breakdown:

Wednesday:
Dunkin Donuts: $3.25
Sodas and such: $2.50

Thursday, Friday: Not in the city.

Saturday: $0

Sunday:
Dunkin Donuts: $3.25
Rive Gauche: $3.50

Monday:
Bagel: $1.75
Halal: $4
Coke: $2.50

Balance: $12.25

Out on the Road

2007-11-14T13:24:00.000-08:00

I've been away a bit. Took a bit of a vacation from New York and disappeared into the Midwest's variegated landscapes in order to watch my brother take part in a storied football tradition and arguably one of the best rivalries in the state of Indiana. But first Cincinnati.

Have you ever been to Cincinnati? It is an odd place. A brick and mortar place that vaguely resembles Brooklyn minus the hustle and bustle. On Wednesday night last week I joined my friend and his girlfriend for some trivia. Back in the day, my pal and I used to dominate trivia night. In a bibulous orgy of chicken wings and eureka insights we would rack up point after point and take home the $40 prize which was often just enough to cover the tab. We hoped this time around to have similar success but found that our stockpile of minutia was not well suited for this particular trivia. As our team, tactlessly named "The Waterboarding All Stars," slipped farther and farther behind the other teams as questions dealing with a pop culture long before our time continually stumped us. Needless to say we had to pay our own tab and the prize went to a group of 50+ Ohioans, ironically called "The Boy Geniuses."

After trivia we went to another bar. Mostly because the heat at my friend's place didn't work. At the bar we chatted it up with a local couple while sliding beau coup dollars into the juke box. I woke up the next day in a cold haze and hopped online where I found a dear friend Jen who lived in the "Nasty" as some of the locals like to call it. She told me that I should go to a place called "Siitwells" to get all the coffee house mystique that this town had to offer. I thought that would be just as good a place as any to write my novel and get some breakfast. Before I left she told me "I want you to kiss my city full on the mouth, Paul." I suggested I would do more than that.

The coffee house was "OK." I hate being this way, but I've got to say that nothing compares to New York, they just know how to do it, at least when it comes to coffee houses. Every where else is just posturing. I had a decent sandwich there and then hit some letter keys for a little while. Eavesdropping on conversations and watching the occasional child run around. There was one brunette I noticed. She seemed to be pals with the people running the restaurant, but then again I think everybody in Cincinnati is friends.

I decided to do some shopping because the heat at my friends was off and I could, being out of Gotham. Eventually, I went home to discover the heat was back on and that made me glad. Then because I couldn't get any work done, I moved to another coffee house. I found myself reading Kundera's "The Unbearable Lightness of Being," more than writing. But that too didn't work out as there was a guy at the bar with an annoying laugh. So I split, went back to my friend's house. He happens to be a wine salesman and happened to leave out some fine wines which he said I could drink, so I sat in his kitchen enjoying fine wine and reading Kundera.

He eventually returned and then we went to a place in Northside? Cincinnati. And here's where the weirdness seemed to culminate because the couple from the bar the night before, the woman from Sitwell's and the guy from Kaldi's with the annoying laugh were all gathered in this one bar. I felt like Ebenezer Scrooge and all my moments were coalescing into a single event and that event was called Cincinnati. Honestly, I think you could have the makings of the next Twin Peaks or Northern Exposure in this town. Just a weird collection of bizarre characters who sort of meander about. Though those kind of shows don't seem to have much staying power or sell a lot of sports drinks.

The next morning I snapped awake and sort of meandered myself around my friends apartment. The time finally came where I was like I can stay here and get in the way or I can go. So I just went. Off to Indiana to watch my brother play football. I met my father in the Indy airport and we took a trip to Greencastle, Indiana, home of DePauw, and the DePauw Tigers. I was there to watch my brother play in the final game of the season and one of Indiana's greatest college rivalries, Wabash vs. DePauw for the Monon Bell.

I met my father in the airport after turning in my hybrid car. Those are strange little devices. No keys to turn, just buttons to press. Feels odd. How do you jump start something without a starter. Anyway, my father and I made our way to Greencastle and the inn where we would be staying. A special place indeed.

I stayed at a very small inn named after and dedicated to the world's fastest lawn lawn mower. In the lobby they had a zero-turn-radius lawn mower with two propane fuel tanks attached to the side. I don't know how fast it goes, nor had I ever heard of this particular craft of vegitation mancuring. But it was apparently interesting enough for those dudes from Orange County Chopper to pose for a bunch of pictures in front of it. If you are interested go here. http://www.dixiechopper.com/

After an evening of touring wal-mart, introducing my father to the Nintendo Wii and marveling at the extra girth of midwesterners we woke to anticipation of the day's main event. The Monon Bell Game. Every year the tribes of Wabash college and Depauw University get together and battle it out on the grid iron. The winner of this contest gets to take home the Monon Bell, an old railroad bell that is painted red and gold, colors from both teams. Last year the trophy was won by the Wabash Rebels. When my father and I approached the stadium we could hear the bell clanging. Wabash Rebels had been drinking in the parking lot since the afternoon before as far as we could tell.

We went into the stadium about an hour early to make sure we could get a seat. It was about 50 outside and the aluminum benches were about negative 30 degrees. Though I bundled up I was still cold. I'm going to have to attribute my lack of subcutaneous insulation to the fact that I only spend $10 a day. So I was a bit grumpy before the game even started. And then when it did start I got grumpier and more frustrated and a bit nauseous.

DePauw played a great game. They worked hard, rammed the ball down the Rebels center time after time and fought hard for every yard they got. But many times, they couldn't commit. The ball got stopped short. But the whole game they trailed. It didn't help at all that the first pass DePauw threw was at my little brother and intercepted. I felt my heart sink in the beginning and I could see my little bro (who incidentally towers over me by a good half foot) beating himself up on the sideline. And then there was a failed field goal attempt and an extra point lost.

But like I said, DePauw played a great game and they managed to make up that extra point by getting a two point conversion. In the final minutes of the game, DePauw stopped a strong advance by Wabash with an interception on the DePauw 4 yard line. Directly across from us was a sea of red. During the pre-game I took a rough count of the Wabash team, my math put their numbers between 60 and 70. Keep in mind that Wabash's enrollment is only about 600 students, all of them males. With 10% of the team on the field, the other 90% had to be in the stands. And they were rowdy, loud, and sort of intimidating.

Well, Depauw moved the ball from their 4 yard line to the Wabash 37 and were stopped cold. The score was 21 to 21 and we were just counting the seconds to overtime. They sent the kicker out to the field, a kid who had never made a successful field goal attempt in his short college career. The Wabash Rebels yelled and screamed, they were an pulsing mass of noise and red. The Monon Bell rang and a hush fell over the DePauw backers. With a clean snap and a cleaner kick the football sailed through uprights. The team began to jump up and down and I waited for both arms of the umpire to go in the air but the rush of DePauw students on the field and the stupefied silence of the Wabash stands told me that goal was good and the Tigers had won the game with an amazing 47 yard field goal.

My family joined the torrent on the field. Black and gold clad co-eds were screaming and shouting and through the din you could hear the Monon Bell ringing over the chants of "We are...Tigers." My sister and I spotted my brother in the tight crowd of football players I can't say I've ever seen him happier and he smiled proudly when he spotted us on the field with him cheering him on. Hugs, yells, and lots of ringing of the bell followed after. The crowd eventually cleared out, the students had drinking on their minds, but that bell never stopped ringing its toll of victory not even an hour afterwards when my family left.

I have to say it was probably the best game I ever witnessed, and I hated every minute of it. Every minute until the last couple of seconds. You can check out more about it here: http://www.depauw.edu/ath/football/index.asp?id=20364 . There's a nice picture of my brother catching the ball.

Since then I've returned to New York City. It's life as usual as I go to both of my jobs and just punch away at my novel. I've still got about 30,000 words to write over the next 10 days. Thankfully I have lots of vacation time. But I'm really shooting for a two time victory. So wish me luck. Sorry about the absence but much of my writing energy has been focused in the novel direction. The word counter will go up as well as my balance. Speaking of which.

Long over due breakdown:

STARTING BALANCE: $-9.50

IN: $110

November 6
Groceries: $6.75

November 11-15

Sunday 11
Fancy Tacos: $9
Haagan Dazs: $4

Monday 12
Tamales: $2.50
Halal: $4
Cokes: $2.50

Tuesday 13
Bagel: $2.25
Baugette: $2.50
Groceries: $5.75
Beer: $2

Wednesday 14
Pizza: $2
Coke: $2.50

Thursday 15
I forget: $16

Friday 16
I'm guessing Groceries: $7.75

Saturday 17
Dunkin Donuts: $3.25
Falafel: $3

Sunday 18
Dunkin Donuts: $3.25
Soda: $3.50

Monday 19
Laundry: $12
Coke: $2.50

Tuesday 20
Bagel: $2

Out: $89.75

Balance: $4.25

Taxidermy and Fun

2007-11-04T04:27:00.000-08:00

Well I found a great use for my surplus. On Friday night a few co-workers and I set out for an evening of admiring real and imagined animals that are now dead and preserved in such a way as they can be constantly admired. We went to a taxidermy contest at The Secret Science Club in Union Hall, a bar with actual boccee courts inside. And no, the contest wasn't a race to see who could stuff a sewer rat the fastest, but rather a chance for the wonders of preserved nature to be viewed, admired and ultimately judged.

There I saw a two headed calf, the skeleton of a cat with two faces, a bird of paradise, a mermaid, and something called a sea rabbit. The pope of squirrels made an appearance, along with vicious polar voles. And all of this transpired under the frightening, inscrutable vision of the rump ape. One of the best things about the evening was the judges. They had a novelist, a member of the Minnesota Rouge Taxidermists, a DJ and a person from the Natural History museum. The natural scientist functioned well a soothsayer. He spotted the gaffs, corrected the presenters and even provided some history when it came to various stuffed beasts.

Before this I spent money on food. It was great to actually relax and have money to blow. Midway through the meal I felt this overwhelming sense of joy. It was a vaguely familiar feeling, then I realized it. I was having fun. So this is what it's like. It was odd.

I woke up feeling all the fun I had the next morning. So after stitching up my hangover with coffee, ibuprofen and multivitamins I started my weekend project of cleaning. I was supposed to be writing a novel (still am actually) but I was distracted. I went out and spent some money on cleaning supplies and then invested a lot of time scrubbing. My kitchen floor is something I'm proud of now.

BREAKDOWN
Starting Balance: $41.75

IN: $40

Friday
Union Hall: $45

Saturday
Cleaning Supplies: $13.75
Chinese Food: $5

Sunday
Gyro Sandwich: $3
Bread: $4.50
Ham: $3
Tomatoes: $.75
Beer: $3
Laundry $12

Monday:
Parsley: $1

Balance: -$9.50

Theater and the NaNoWriMo

2007-10-27T05:52:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday night I was dragged to the theater. I'm a bit skeptical at times of plays and other theater performances. I've been in some pretty uncomfortable theater seats before, watching bad actors suffer through worse dialog so I had my doubts about some play called "The Chaos Theories."

But was actually quite an accomplished little engine of a play. Sort of a New York City mash up where several interesting and serious scenarios were played by out by the same actors in different roles. The actors often switched power roles going from emotional extremes of completely pathetic and helpless to tyrannically powerful. The most striking example of this was a woman who played a vagabond hanging outside the restaurant where the play took place. She later transformed into a Hollywood executive who had a talented writer by the balls, literally. The only part that didn't sit well with me was the fact that almost everyone in the play actually acknowledged the homeless lady. At one point I turned to a fellow playgoer and asked what city this was supposed to be. Everyone I know generally ignores the homeless and almost never gives them money. As a co-worker once put it, "Why encourage them?" Afterwards me and a few of my party went someplace to eat and I didn't have hardly any money. I was only able to lay down about $7 for my share. I owe you guys.

The weekend went pretty well, though I did nothing. I was sick on Friday night and had to skip a birthday party because of it. That night I just stocked up on food and have been sort of milking it ever since. I've found I'm getting quite adept at the ten dollars a day. I have almost 3 days of food in my fridge and I keep finding ways not to eat it.

On Monday I went to my first NaNoWriMo event. Every November a number of wackos decide that they are going to spend the next 30 days writing a 50,000 word novel. I did this last year and I loved it. So this year I'm going to do it again. Starting today I will be writing 1600+ words a day in a frenzy to finish another whole work of art. Lots of great novels are 50,000 words long like "The Great Gatsby," "Catcher In The Rye" and "Tom Sawyer." So I may be a bit more brief as I wage a campaign of words and combine it with my savings. But I'll add a counter of how many words I've written so far, so over the next 30 days you all can cheer me on.

The people who started this novel writing business got a hold of my name and they've started sending me emails. On Monday they promised me free pizza. So I showed up to a bar promptly at seven and sat down. It seemed like a good opportunity to meet people, but I wish I wasn't being so cheap because I gladly would have swallowed some liquid courage and engaged the other aspiring (attractive) writers. But I ended up making excruciating small talk with a couple of ladies at my table, one of who was too young and the other a bit too loud for me. The free pizza they promised was taking too long, so I left and made lentil soup at home while watching Heroes. Mmm. Lentil soup. Mmm. Heroes.

On Tuesday night, which seems like an impossibly long time ago, my second job had a staff meeting and they provided that free pizza I'd been trying to get. Ah what a meeting that was. I ate way too much pizza and felt a little ill afterwards, but it was free, what can a kid do.

Yesterday for Halloween, gomobo sent me more money so I jumped at that and got a $1 schwarma from Bread and Olive, quite tasty that. I stayed, wisely I think, away from the festivities, drinking cold beer in my living room while watching Dawn of the Dead. That was a good Halloween, complete with the irrational nightmares of zombie swarms attacking my bed.

So let's have a long awaited breakdown. Take a moment to marvel at the massive surplus I've somehow accrued.

Starting Balance: $5.50

IN: $80

OUT:

Thursday
Dinner after play: $7

Friday
Salt: $1.25
Groceries: $16

Saturday
Burger King: $3.25
Groceries: $7.50

Sunday
Dunkin Donuts: $3.50
Cilantro & Tomato: $1

Monday
$0

Tuesday
$0

Wednesday
Shwarma: $1
Groceries: $3.25

Thursday:
$0

Balance: $41.75

National Debt, Monster Movies, and Pasta

2007-10-24T17:04:00.001-07:00

Paying off my debts. That's what this blog is all about. Me making the sacrifice it takes to make up for all the all the times I agreed to buy now and pay later. And now it's later. I don't have to do it. I don't even have to do it the way I am. I know how to call credit card companies and transfer balances. I could avoid interest indefinitely but I chose to take my debt head on for the sake of brighter more secure future. Now if only the US Government could do the same. I've added a national debt counter to my blog so that you all can see how much we owe. I'm not sure who we owe this money to but at the writing of this blog each citizen's share of the debt is $29,865.49. At the rate I've been going that amounts to 3 years of $10 a day just to pay off my share. And it's growing every day, too bad there isn't a no interest credit card offer that the government can transfer this debt to. But if we don't stop it you can kiss a lot of great things like national parks, student loans or medical research goodbye (or cut to nearly non-existent proportions).

But back to my spending. On Sunday night I hosted my first ever movie night at my house. A cheap way to gather friends. Though the attendance was relatively low, actually as low as it could get without me being alone, I must say that the first movie night was a rousing success. My friend K gets the guest of the evening award even though she didn't show up. She sent along some fish dumplings with the single guest Tomiwa and they were delicious and surprisingly appropriate given that the film was about some weird amphibious lifeform. "The Host" was a great film, lots of weird fun and not too terribly scary, though there are some good jumps throughout. That was followed up by hip hop education hour with Tomiwa as DJ and head instructor and Paul as student. And we closed it all out with some Led Zeppelin. All in all an audio visual fiesta and highlight of the weekend. I had to step out to get some coke for the evening.

On Monday I bought some tomatoes so I could make a recipe that my office mate Amber and I had been looking at during work. It was from that liberal rag The New York Times, a delicious, winter squash and tomato sauce with pasta. It was quite lovely and there is plenty left over for a few days of lunches.

Yesterday, due to a Gomobo.com snafu I ended up spending a few bucks on lunch. They sometimes just give you money, but you have to spend it that day. So when I tried to spend it on Indian food and found I couldn't. I called and the credited me permanently which is nice. It's odd that I'm now running into free food. You should check it out if you live in the city. Just be sure to give them my phone number and order so I get a credit.

Tonight was another night of pasta and Kid Nation. Ah Taylor how I love to hate you.

Starting Balance: -$21

In: $40

Sunday
Coke: $1.75

Monday
Tomatoes: $2

Tuesday
Indian Food: $8.75
Beer: $1

Wednesday
$0

Balance: $5.50

War? What is it good for? Lots and lots of money.

2007-10-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

I can't say what the reluctance has been on this posting issue, but I've definately lost some steam. I guess I'm just down about the failed speed dating attempt. I'm going to write it up in my consciousness as a lark, a funny joke I played on myself. And from this point hence, we shall never speak of it. Never.

Wednesday was an odd but active one. After starting the morning out with a bagel, I got notification from gomobo.com that they were giving out money. So with $2 more dollars in the gomobo.com coffers I cashed it all in for a delicious campo sandwich.

Later in the day my friend Stella invited me to a reading in which a couple of authors would be discussing issues relevant to the current war in Iraq. One author had written a book about the private army known as Blackwater, and one had written as an "unembedded" journalist reporting from outside the Green Zone. It was odd to hear the term "unembedded." I always thought that meant you were "embedded" in the war zone, but apparently it doesn't, I guess a better definition is that embedded journalist go in with the troops when people let them, and in this scenario it means running around the highly secured Green Zone.

While Blackwater's mercenary army is disturbing enough, because it operates outside of the Geneva convention and answers to no one, it was the author Dahr Jamail's presentation that disturbed me the most. It is understandable that enlistment in the US Forces is down. People are less likely to join up when they may go to a war that many feel is based on at what could, at best, be called "bad information." But the story that this journalist brought back was not a fight for the hearts and minds of Iraqi people, but of a crazed occupation where Marine snipers shot women and children traveling to hospitals. It was a side of the war that I was not thinking about. I could see the errant bomb hurting people, I trusted that the armed services did their due diligence as much as they could to avoid "collateral damage." But as Mr. Jamail described his trip to a clinic where people were bringing in women and children who were being shot by Marine snipers I found myself wondering if the armed forces were representing my country as I feel they should be. Clearly, my views on the war have changed, and as much as I would like to democratize the world and stabilize the Middle East, I'm done with this war. I can't have the blood of innocents on my hands for something that clearly won't work.

After this sobering gathering Stella and her friend took me to a hare krishna dinner. I had looked into the hare krishnas as a source of free vegetarian food, but I assumed that you had to attend a long service about the saving grace of a Hindu warrior god. That wasn't the case here as the three of us helped ourselves to some delicious free food. I then got a call from my friend Tomiwa to drink bourbon and play Scrabble, which I gladly did. I woke up hungover the next day and still distracted by the war.

The rest of the week was fairly dull. Thursday night was work at the tutoring center and "High Noon" after work.

On Friday I discovered that I could get some cheap tamales near work at the Mexican consulate which is just down the street. I bought 4 for $5. I ended the day by stocking up on groceries.

Starting Balance: -$29

In: $40

Wednesday:
Bagel with Cream Cheese: $3.25
Campo Sandwich: $2.25

Thursday:
Halal: $4

Friday:
Tamales: $5
Vegetables: $4.50
Groceries: $10
Beer: $3

Saturday: $0

Balance: -$21

Shoestring Love: Mach Speed

2007-10-16T19:20:00.000-07:00

When I saw that I could speed date for $27 dollars, I decided that it could be interesting. And as far as value goes, I had 10 dates for that price. $2.70 per date with pizza and wine is quite a deal for lonely fella on a budget.

The event began at Mo Pickins, over at Avenue A. Slinking by 15 minutes early, I was overcome with a sense of dread. I'm just no good when it comes to rejection. It cuts me deep and if I were anymore tense I would probably have had a full fledged anxiety attack. I've never had one, nervous breakdown, sure, but prickly-armed anxiety attack? No. I called my friend for a morale boost but he was out eating with his hot 23 year-old girlfriend. He just wished me luck. What I needed was a Swingers style pep talk. "You are so money. You're money and you don't even know it...etc." Nearby I found a record store, and though I have no turntable, I hung out there just to kill time. No good showing up early to room full of desperate people.

When I got to the little upstairs bar I saw some attractive candidates. Though they struck me as much more hip than I'd expected. They didn't appear to be in the 26 to 34 range, nor did they look like the bookish types that would find speed dating in the 92nd St Y website. They actually looked like a bunch of NYU hipster lesbians. I ordered a Jameson, and the bartender had made one by mistake so I got a glass of whiskey gratis. Cheers.

I found a seat near an open window next to the fire escape. From here I could look over the scene, see what interested me and what the competition was like. There weren't a lot of guys in the room. And what I could see only inspired confidence. They were mostly balding and pear shaped types, some of whom had obviously never flipped through a GQ magazine. I was vaguely wary of one guy who was large, had a classically cut jaw, seemed like he could be competition, not that competition matters that much. Participants got to pick more than one person they were interested in. Then I got a look at his hirsute back, he had a cape of fur under that shirt. With that observation I took a sip of supremacy from my whiskey glass and raised my eyebrow to the coming conquest. It was at that point a woman yelled, "If you're not here for the speed dating then you need to leave the room!" And every hot girl in the room got up and walked away.

Crestfallen, I looked at the fire escape behind and thought about making a dramatic exit. Wouldn't that make for an interesting story for the others? "I went to speed dating and it was so bad this one guy jumped out the window." They brought out pizza and wine, I'd already eaten at Subway and wasn't too upset about that seeing as, much like Farmer Ted from "Sixteen Candles," fresh breath is a priority. They said not everybody was there and I had my fingers crossed. The dating began and I began making the rounds.

There's not too much you can do in 5 minutes of dialog. The woman hosting said that some dates would feel like a minute and others would feel like 20 and this I found to be true. Most people only get to where you from, what do you do, where you living now.

The first two dates were a definite pass. Is it shallow of me to say I knew that before I sat down? Yeah, well, I'm shallow. But I liked the third one. She was a late comer. A periodontist (or gum surgeon). She was cute, seemed friendly, and a doctor. If I was a Jewish mother, I'd think she was perfect. All this added up to me circling 'Yes" next to her name. We talked about scuba diving and I mentioned that I didn't think I could do that as I had asthma. Man the smoothness that is The Gotham Frugal. I'm slier than Billy D Williams. That date ended and I moved on to a few others.

The other highlight was a giggly blonde, a bit of a stereotype, I know, but true all the same. She laughed at my jokes, touched my arm and pointed out that I was funny. So hey, she knows a good thing when she sees it. She got a 'Yes.'

The last date was by far the longest. It started with her saying "Three sentences. I'm 26 years old. I'm a computer programmer. I've never been married. I live in Queens near Forest Hills." So, clearly, she wanted to dispense with the niceties, but by this point I was calling the night a wash and decided to say what I wanted. "That was four sentences." Instead of calling me an ass she said, "That's right Forest Hills." So my response was, "Hey, that's where Spider-Man grew up."

At the end of the night, I went home and had a few more beers, again, for perspective. They said that if any of the people I said yes to said yes to me that we would get contact info. About 22 hours later my email is as mute as a ficus. That's the crazy world of love.

Starting Balance: -$5.25
In: $10

Out:
Speed Dating: $27
Subway Sandwich: $5.25
Beer: $1.50

Balance: -$29

Fruity Frugal

2007-10-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

Today I bought bananas, B A N A N A S.

Banana Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$14.75
In: $10
Out:
Bananas: $0.50

Balance: -$5.25

Weekend Washout

2007-10-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

There comes a time in every man's life when the oil runs out, and the bottle is empty, and onions need frying, and the bread needs dipping, and the water needs, well oiling. And at that time a man has to go out and buy some olive oil. So that's what I did. I went to a high class grocery joint on the upper east side, called Citarella. While I was there I had to pick up some bread.

I've recently been obsessed with Roma tomatoes. There's a produce place that has cheap avacadoes and really luscious Roma tomatoes. That night my Canadian friend and I sat down and ate the baguette with bread and tomato and a head of roasted garlic. We chased it with wine which one bottle wasn't enough. So I had to go buy another. Such are the duties of hosting, though my pal did throw in some cash. It's hard sometimes to believe that I pay $6 for a beer at a bar and $6 for a bottle of wine. I wonder why I go to bars, I wonder why I can't wait to go to bars when I'm all paid off. They aren't that great. The company can be nice, but I may be getting past the point of wanting to meet new people. Why is it that people have to say, "Hey let's go drink somewhere where they charge too much?" Why can't we say, "Hey come to my house and let's get drunk?" Is it the phrasing? Is it the selection? Cause I normally pick one drink and stick to it. Who knows.

Well after drinking a few bottles of wine the night before I had a headache, so I got aspirin. I went to work on Saturday and tutored my little heart out. I was feeling lazy so I bought some Mushu Pork. While ordering out is often a bust financially, I've already gotten 2 meals out it and have at least 2 more. So I think all that delicious is worth it.

Still, on Sunday, the grocery store called. And I had to get out there and pick up some provisions that will hopefully last me the rest of the week, or at least a good portion of it. Tonight I made some guacamole, and I'm certain I'm getting better at it. We shall see.

Sorry for the boring entry. I've been hanging out a lot. Good thing about hanging out in the apartment is that you don't spend a lot of money. Bad thing about staying in the apartment is that you can do that anywhere, and this after all is New York City. Exciting things are coming I promise. I was going to try to sit in on a Kung Fu class on Monday but I said I'd cover a shift at the second job. No problem. Kung Fu next week.

In other news, I paid off $500 of my credit card this pay period. Not too shabby.

DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting Balance: $5.75

In: $30

Friday:
Olive oil and baguette: $14.50
Avacadoes and tomatoes: $2.75
Eggs: $1
Wine: $4.50

Saturday
Aspirin: $5
Butter: $2.25
Chinese Food: $10
Toilet Paper: $0.75

Sunday:
Dunkin Donuts Coffee: $2
Groceries: $7.75

Balance: -$14.75

There are free lunches, and you can get me one.

2007-10-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

You guys remember Stella from work don't you? Well yesterday Stella told me, "Hey Paul check out this website gomobo.com where you can order food online, then you can pick it up, NO WAITING, oh and you get a few bucks." My thoughts were something like "Oh, sure Stella, whatever I don't need your spam fiesta."

But later today I was looking into and decided to try it out. And sure enough all I had to do was give them a little credit card information and my address and they told me all the places I could order from and they gave me $2 credit. Stella also gave me a special secret code which landed me an extra few bucks for my order. We both made an order online and walked to the Bombay Grill. I had the Tandori Chicken and Stella had some vegetables. And while it wasn't the best Indian food, I don't think anything beats free food which I didn't have to wait for.

Speaking of free food, if you sign up to gomobo.com then you get $2 credit towards any resturant and if you fill out a survey they throw you $2 more. But the most important thing that my New York friends have to do is enter my phone number in the "Who referred you?" box. This simple act will garner me $5 worth of free food credit and put me that much closer to the end of my credit card debt. Have a heart and some lunch to.

Today I decided to grab a tamale and a banana for breakfast, they were out of pablano so I went with the rojo. That and a couple of beers at the end of the evening was all I spent.

Breakdown

Starting Balance: $-1.75

IN: $10

OUT:
Tamale: $1.25
Banana: $0.25
Beer: $1

Balance: $5.75

The World's Oldest Profession Never Gets Old

2007-10-11T04:19:00.000-07:00

This is New York and if you are a Morlock like myself, you drag your pale hide every morning down into the bowels of earth and crowd in with the other Morlocks and go a little dead eyed for anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes only to repeat the process the next day. But there are many of us who agree better a pauper in the Emerald City than a player in Munchkinville. Yet for others, the entire point of Gotham is find the rich and powerful, get their lamprey like suckers into them and hang on for the rest of their sucky existence. Though the means by which one latches on vary, sex seems to be the most popular. (Sorry for the metaphor mash up).

This brings me to a recent blog entry by the authors of the fascinating read "Freakonomics." Here they feature a Craigslist ad where a "spectacularly beautiful" 25 year old woman asks for advice on how to land her a man who makes at least "$500K" a year. As she says, "$250K won't get me to Central Park West." I must say the whole thing was disheartening to me. I mean here I am, with my good friend Hamilton trying to bust through each day by not giving him away and some young woman ostensibly won't give a guy a shot unless he can lay a Cleavland on her every single day.

Then I read the response in which a man explained to the gold digger that her beauty, which was about all she seemed to be bringing to the table, is a depreciating asset, while money makers typically only make more money. One might also advise her to move to Silicon Valley. I myself have entertained notions of romancing a high powered executive lady and letting her shower me with pricey men's fashion and scrumptious meals that cost more than some countries' GDP. It's one of those New York/Cinderella fantasies. Wow, I just realized Cinderella was a gold digger.

But back to me, I may make the occasional big purchase, funding it through gifts and deciding it doesn't count towards this little exercise of mine, and my reasoning may be poster-board thin when it comes down to it, but trust me I do sweat spending more than $10 a day and I have passed on many, many purchases that I could afford and felt low about it, I've turned down invites out because I didn't want to go over my limit, and I wonder if I'll have any friends left when I'm done with this. Living on $10 a day in New York is a pain in the ass and everyone of my friends has basically told me to quit. By next week I'll be $2,000 dollars away from my goal and while most people would kill for a credit card balance of just $2000, I'm not done yet. But when I read about some piece of ass unabashedly letting it be known that she won't be giving it up unless a guy doesn't make more every day then I pay each month in rent, well, I feel like a chump. I know I shouldn't but I do.

Starting Balance: -$21

IN: $20

OUT:
Tomatoes: $0.75

Balance: -$1.75

The Month, Weekend in Review

2007-10-08T17:57:00.000-07:00

What can we say about September? This one started like a lion and ended like a lamb. A designation usually reserved for March, but here it is appropriate. The beginning of the month marked a needed respite from the $10 a day business. I had a friend in town and therefore went out, spending like I hope to when this whole fast is over. I had to dip into my savings even for that weekend. But I'm hoping to make it up soon.

The premier event of September was the second job blues. I started at one tutoring center, suffered through their bureaucratic nonsense only to quit as soon as they deemed me fit to train. To those out there who helped me talk myself into quiting, I thank you. But undeterred I managed to quickly turn around and pick up another job. Barely missing a beat. I've since been enjoying my work there and realized that it could be fairly lucrative. We'll see what happens when the first paycheck rolls in which I have no idea when that will be.

I also managed to claw my way out of the deep hole I'd been in. If you take those days of the month that I did participate in the frugal business, I spent around $5.75 per day on average in September. That's means that this has been the most frugal month by far. I ate a lot of rice, pasta and lentil soup to prove that. I think that the advent of new prime time TV programs such as Kid Nation have been helpful when it comes to keeping me from spending. Also I am counting on a love affair with the 99 cent store to carry me through the dark hours. With the new job and the less negative balance, I may have this credit card bill packed away by the end of the year. Fingers crossed.

It was a lazy weekend, for the most part. Except for a couple of easy days at the second job and the OU/Texas game, oh and a photographers showing I mostly just stayed indoors and had something of a mixed media fiesta. Movies, documentaries, TV shows, video games, comic books, and cooking. I've been pretty good staying with in that budget but I had to buy some food and I had a stinky sponge that had to be replaced. It was way overdue. Kinda like this entry.

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: $9.75

IN: $30

OUT:

Saturday:
Bagel: $2
OU/Texas Game: $25
Wine: $3.25
Cab: $8

Sunday:
Vegetables: $4.75

Monday:
Laundry: $5
Groceries: $ 12.75

Balance: -$21

The Definitions of Frugal

2007-10-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

gratis: Getting something for free is always a pleasure. On Wednesday I discovered that I had about $60 worth of Best Buy certificates. So I headed out to buy some entertainment. I got a couple of games and only had to pay the tax. That night I went home and cooked some dinner for later in the week, had to pick up some groceries to do so.

recuperation: For some reason I got sick. I blame it on the plethora of tots I grabbed this weekend. Kids are the cutest and perhaps deadliest of all vectors, so I took the day off. I was feeling better later in the day, good enough to go out and buy some groceries. I also decided to go ahead and attend my other job. Antibiotics are a wonderful thing.

vindication: I saw a familiar face at the tutoring center. One of the people that I was training with at the evil tutoring center had defected. I was happy to see her, not only because someone I thought was a good person wasn't participating in those shenanigans, but also because it confirmed my decision.

fraternize: After work I gathered with a few friends at a dinner party. We had a Mexican style feast. I provided guacamole and chips. Fairly yummy, if I do say so myself. I'm sure my contribution was outdone by others but I must say that every one brought in their own bit of variety. If variety is the spice of life, friendship must be the bread.

remuneration: On Friday, the workplace prince, a diminutive canine named Francis was hungry and giving his significantly pregnant retainer a bit of grief. So I offered to go across the street to fetch his lordship some kibble. For my services I was allowed to keep the change. His highness is too kind. After work I grabbed a few beers from the store and settled in for an evening of salmon croquettes and film. My definition of relaxation. I also saved up a good bit for this weekend's OU/Texas Matchup.

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: $0.25

Wednesday:
Best Buy: $1
Groceries: $8

Thursday:
Groceries: $10.50

Friday:
Keeping the change: $2
Beer: $3

Ending Balance: $9.75

Red Dirt Rambling

2007-10-02T17:59:00.000-07:00

Well pardners, this past weekend I traveled to Oklahoma City. There I became the proud godfather of my first nephew, Michael. I was dreading the flight home. In the past I've been met with delays, cancellations, and rerouting. But aside from an involuntary seating change the flights moved on schedule. Though I was set against doing so initially, I decided to have a beer and a couple of McDonald's cheeseburgers. At $9.25 this felt a little over priced.

But, the great thing about going home to your parents is that most things are gratis. I spent a good deal of time at the kitchen table, eating. There was lots of American fare: barbecue chicken, grilled cheese sandwiches, hamburgers and hot dogs, and pizza. Breakfasts featured Syrian bread, butter, eggs and jam. I drank tons of coffee and the occasional beer. Free food is indeed unbeatable.

The homestead was packed with critters at various times, my 18 month niece and her parents are living with my folks at home and she's quite a friendly one, she would often waddle to each person at any given gathering and say "Hi." Once she got an appropriate response she would move immediately to the next person in the room. Needless to say she was well received. My other nephew and niece would come around with their parents in the evenings. This would set off a crescendo of small voices and activity and often required a good deal of officiating and interactive play.

At the end of the trip I was offered money by my mother. I feel I'm a little old to be taking cash from Mom but after brief protestations I capitulated. I also got a few dollars from my grandmother, who always gives you cash in a conspiratorial manner. When you say goodbye to her, she gives you a big hug and then takes your hand in hers; there she's secreted a ten or twenty dollar bill. I pocket these without looking and count them later. With the proceeds of this trip I'm going to buy some face cleansers I've been putting off for a long time. You can't live in the Metro with going a touch Metrosexual.

All in all it was a great visit and I was sorry to leave. But the city calls and I felt good about being home. Unfortunately I don't feel good about my meager budget of $10 a day. On the bright side, I'm back in black. And after a $150 deficit that's a good thing. It's nearly the equivalent of going half a month with spending a dime.

Okie Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$29.50

IN: $50

OUT:

Friday: Beer and Burgers: $9.25

Saturday: $0

Sunday: $0

Monday: PBR $1

Tuesday:
Peanut Butter and Bread: $5
Halal: $5

Balance: $0.25

Shoestring Love

2007-09-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

I had a conversation with my friend Jen this afternoon and I mentioned that one drawback of the Gotham Frugal is that I despair at the thought of dating. As I put it to my friend "What girl would want to hang out with a guy who can only spend ten dollars on a date?" Her pithy response: "THE girl." Right on.

Which got me thinking. I'm a creative guy. I can come up with a few ways to have fun and not spend a lot of money. So let's make some plans. I'd be going dutch with my date, of course.

Plan 1: Halal and High Art

This one is simple but day specific. For culture we go to the MOMA on free Fridays. After a good few hours of tooling around the greatest work that modern masters have to offer we hop across the street for some tasty halal, (falafel for the vegetarians) and chase that with an English lager from a nearby convenience store. Then, if the mood suits, a stroll through Central Park.

Total $15

Plan 2: Scenery and a Slice

I'm thinking about meeting at city hall, a walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, checking out a great view of downtown and then eating pizza on the other side at Grimaldi's, reputably the greatest pie in the five boroughs if not all the world. No worrying about the wait though because I'll call ahead for the pizza.

Total: $12-$19

Plan 3: Picnic in the Park

A cheap classic. One baguette, half pound o' brie, Charles Shaw, and one pear. She can bring what ever else she likes, salad would be great, some olives and peppers even better. I like how picnics like this can be a metaphor for dating. They both only work well if each party has something to bring.

Total: $15-$20

Plan 4: Dancing and Dogs

How about going to a free tango or salsa lesson together. Sometimes they let students stay on later for only a small fee. There could be lots of dancing. Afterwards there's always a papaya dog nearby. But she'd have to be some girl to consider anything even remotely romantic about a papaya dog. Heck, if I didn't blow all our money at the danceria I might even spring for that.

Total: $8-$20

So those are my plans for now. If you have some cheap date suggestions, please tell me about them. And if you're a lovely young lass looking to be treated well while not being treated at all, then send me a note. You too can have a little shoestring lovin.

And now for the Lloyd Dobbler breakdown.

Starting balance: -$49.50

In: $20 (two days)

Out: $0

Balance: -$29.50

Addendum: Turns out there is something romantic about Papaya King. The founder Gus Poulos only served fruit drinks at his store until he literally "fell" for a young German girl who introduced him to the frankfurter. And now we are blessed with the fruits (and dogs) of their union.

Going Code Orange

2007-09-25T19:10:00.001-07:00

Though I'm not out of the woods just yet, I think that I have safely reduced my numbers, enough that I can turn off the rumbling klaxon that has been sounding for the past month.

Tonight I made some red beans and rice. This will yield at least 2 more meals after the dinner I had. Along with the fried chicken I made, the last of the Skyline Chili I cooked up and I couple bags of Ramen, I have at least 6 or 7 meals to last me through Friday. And Friday I fly out of here to Oklahoma City. My parents covered that ticket, because they're great, so I don't have to break out the card again. The point being that I'm going to go ahead and let Frugal clock run, though I'm not in NYC. That way I can return on October with money to spend.

Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$59.50

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$49.50

Holla for the Dollar

2007-09-25T04:44:00.000-07:00

The dollar store. Even as the dollar falls we find it retains some value. The land of the 99 cent grab. The sweet vendor of slave made goods, where the generic brands are nearly identical to the name brands and quality is equal to the expense. I've been scoping out the dollar store for the past week. There's one directly across the street from my work offering a plethora of goods which can be yours for just a Washington. There were some products at Jack's $0.99 store that I was actually surprised by. Eggs, milk, frozen baked goods, one could score a huge box of generic saltines for a dollar and then turn around and buy the cheeze in a can to go with it.

But it's a questionable thing to shop in a dollar store. For one, you can buy a foot of hot sausage for $1.00 but the sausage is chicken, beef, pork sausage. Now until I meet a chicowig I'm going to assume that this sausage is all the bits and pieces of hundreds of animals of different species ground and smashed into a nitrate filled concoction. So I'll stay away. But I did buy 6 eggs, which are almost slightly less horrible. Now I only have to think about the beakless animals stuffed 6 to a square 18" contributing tons of industrial farming pollution each year. Who wants an omelet? Also there's a guy making the rounds at all the talkshow hosts promoting his book "Nobodies." Which gets into all the slave labor that we have in the US. He said something to the effect of "It it seems too good a bargain, it's probably because it was produced using slave labor." So basically dollar stores stink of sweat shops.

I also stopped by the grocery store. There I found chicken legs with backs for $.67 cents a pound. I might as well go the whole life cycle right? The reason those were cheap, I discovered, is because you have to de-back them, but that didn't take long and would've been quicker if I had a better knife. Looking around the store I discovered that items at the dollar store were a bit cheaper. Tuna at the grocery store is $1.29 for example. So I'm going to keep this Jack's in mind over the next few weeks. As I inch out of Condition Critical, I'm hoping that Jack and George can remain friends and help me be more frugal. And my conscience can quiet itself for a few weeks.

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$61.75

In: $10

Out:
Dollar store eggs: $1
Groceries: $6.75

Balance: -$59.50

Television, A Frugal's Best Friend

2007-09-23T19:34:00.001-07:00

On Friday I told my co-worker that I would be watching movies and writing this weekend. I guess I got it half right. I got a text from a fellow Oklahoman to join her at a bar. As we know I try to avoid these places, but a body must get out from time to time. But before this, I landed at a rooftop joint with some co-workers, it was called the Library Bar. It was a nice open air bar. Cocktail waitresses in black dresses, little benches to sit on. I had one beer and I tipped. It cost me $9. New York.

Then I moved on down to the lower east side where I found a beer garden. It was good and crowded and though I arrived on time my companions didn't. I was close to leaving when my friend texted her imminent arrival. I stayed for a couple of large beers. I was a bit tipsy when leaving. When I got home I was hungry so I ordered some lo mien from across the street. I went to bed vowing not to spend anything else this weekend.

I managed to stay true to my word. On Saturday a couple of lady friends joined me to watch the BBC Nature documentary "Planet Earth." A fairly spectacular series. They brought cheap wine from Trader Joes, which is welcome in my house. After they left I joined my neighbors for an episode of Lost. The episode we watched last night was the one tracing the origins of Charlie's heroin addiction. I love Lost. What's really nutty about it though is watching the first season all over again. You know that all this crazy stuff is about to happen. Even more fun was listening to my neighbor try to guess what was going to happen. And I remember that I was still full of all sorts of crazy theories and how far off the mark they were. I mean, I don't even know if she had seen the smoke monster yet. That's hard to believe. She also handed me $20 because I've been hooking her up with free internet access via my wireless home network. I'm going to go ahead and plug it in to my balance.

Today I went to work at the newer job. It was a good time and I think I'll fit in fine. Tonight I watched Ken Burns documentary "The War." Two and a half hours is a long time to devote to one subject. It got to me and I thought the stories were interesting. But sometimes I wonder where Burns is going. Kinda meanders. Well let's meander into a breakdown.

Starting Balance: -$80.50

IN: $50

OUT
Friday:
Beers: $28
Chicken Lo Mein: $3.25

Saturday: $0

Sunday: $0

Balance: -$61.75

Careful What You Wish For

2007-09-20T17:48:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those bummer days. I had to set out early today to fetch my daily bread from the grocery store. I also decided to pick up yeast. I'm thinking about making my own pizza dough. I was surprised to see 3 packets of yeast cost a quarter of my daily budget. So for my bread and the little critters to make my own bread and a few other sandwich fixings I went $0.75 over budget, all before 8:30 AM.

At work I was invited to go out to drinks afterwards and refused because of my ridiculous devotion to this thing I'm doing. I guess when you're in Condition Critical people flexibility isn't an option. If only our legislators were as strong as I am. We'd have a budget the world could envy and the dollar wouldn't be getting its ass kicked by something as stupid sounding as the "Euro." That's like getting beat up by a guy named "Shelby."

But discipline isn't fun and today I found myself overcome by wish thinking. I should go out and buy a ticket to the lottery. Then if I win, I can solve all my problems and pay all my debts. Not just the card. But I had heard bad things happen to lotto winners. So I googled away and found this article. Basically when you are suddenly the possessor of millions of dollars you are faced with a choice. Keep your friends and family, or keep your money. I guess money really does change people. I'd like to believe that if anyone close to me became a millionaire I would quietly sit back and wait for them to invite me to Barbados. Or offer to buy me an apartment, or hand me a Rolex watch. I think I would. It's really just like getting a hundred thousand dollar raise. That's not enough to live like Kayne. So I think I'll just keep a stiff upper lip, refuse invitations to nights out, and work that second job. It makes for more interesting writing.

Well actually, I would love to read a recent millionaire's blog. As I finish this a Mega Millions ad came on TV. Kismet?

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$79.75

In: $10

Out: $10.75

Balance: -$80.50

Hey Kids, Let's Build a Nation.

2007-09-19T19:59:00.001-07:00

Today was a no spending day. Those are good days. Another shovelful of dirt on my way out of the hole. I went to work, got off around 5:15 and went to work again. I'm training, which is probationary and you don't get paid for it until after 6 months of having been on the job. Are they going to give me interest on this money? Regardless, I like the layout at this joint a bit more. And training went by quick enough today. I don't have much to add. I made fried rice this evening so I'll have something to eat for lunch tomorrow. I'll be buying bread and possibly some odd lunch meats. But it's all part of the plan people.

Tonight I watched "Kid Nation." This is a reality program where they send 40 kids out into the desert (none of them are named Moses as far as I can tell) and let the kids run their own town and learn to get along. Well, predictably, the oldest girl ends up taking over and making the whole situation work. Occasionally, like some maniacal Greek god, a man named Jonathan appears out of nowhere and gives the children bizarre color coded challenges and bestows upper class status and wealth on the winners and menial status and low wages on the losers. And then like Discord herself leaves a golden star worth $20,000 with the leaders to bestow upon the greatest kid of all. This is more like improvisational tragedy than social experiment.

The most telling part of the program was when the 14 year old matriarch, Sophia, who had been part of the losing $0.10 cent team, saw a bicycle she wanted and danced in the street for the rest of the money, which was three times the $1.00 wage that the upper class got. Using her talent she overcame the arbitrarily enforced class system in an afternoon. Beat that Gandhi. This show isn't really what I wanted. True society building offers no incentives other than society itself. I was hoping that more idealistic truths like independence, meritocracy, and social cooperation would surface. But they're really just playing a game for money. It's every other reality series only with kids and a Western theme. Lord of the Flies is what I wanted.

To all the street dancing money makers out there, this breakdown is for you.

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$89.75

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$79.75

Hard Cleaning, Good Hunting, Tough Decisions.

2007-09-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

Last night after a bit of bloggering, I discovered I needed paper towels. While I was shopping for those I ran into a few more lonely, lonely cans of PBR. For only $0.50 a can they weren't going to be lonely long so I invited them to come back to my place.

Today was dentist day. Hooray. It was pretty miserable. The woman wasn't what I would call gentle and apparently I needed some work cause she scraped on my for something like an hour. Luckily I had no cavities and now my teeth are fresh and pearly, though it wasn't until about two hours later that I stopped tasting blood. Still teeth are great things to have. Nothing makes that clearer, than the dream I had last night. One of those awful dreams where your teeth all fall out. My lips were sore afterwards and I decided that I needed some chap stick.

Then I went back up to the Upper East Side, directly across the street from the place I quit, to meet with Huntington tutoring. My appointment was at 6:15, I walked out at 6:20 with a job, I start tomorrow. It was so refreshingly easy. I took a look around the center and instead of banks of computers with people holding clipboards and hovering over children, there were all these tables and student and tutors working one on one. Maybe not the best way to foster independence, but so much more warm and friendly than what I saw across the street. Huntington also pays 60% more than those folks.

But today wasn't all fun and games. I've been trying to do better with this whole $10 a day plan. And honestly, it's doable, with discipline. You can have fun too. Tonight was one of those moments however when the choice to do something and the choice to do nothing bumped heads. There was a free M. Ward concert downtown. Last night it was the Hold Steady and that was free too, but I'd already seen them gratis. I really like M. Ward and would love to go to one of his shows, but I had to eat something. And for whatever reason this Condition Critical thing is getting stuck in my head. Clearly I have some sort of OCD and it hurts me at times. If I wasn't doing this budget I would've gone down there and ate a few hot dogs. Instead I went home, changed into my play clothes and cooked some clam sauce. Which was very tasty. Still I'm kicking myself over missing M. Ward. I spend too much time kicking myself. Oh well. Let's get up a get get a get down, the Gotham Frugal is having a...

Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$94.25

In: $10

Last night:
Towels and PBR: $4

Today:
Chap stick: $1.50

Balance: -$89.25

Stop and Smell the Poetic Irony

2007-09-17T18:37:00.000-07:00

"They" say that when one door closes another one opens. On occasion "They" are right. The key is to make sure that you try one door before you slam the first.

Today I went into that godforsaken place I quit in order to sign "termination" papers. I guess the corporate world isn't done with you until they decide they are. Needless to say I'd built up some animosity towards the place and began to expect some sort of verbal exchange. But this didn't happen. When I arrived the manager told me that I needed to wait while one of the kids took shots. Shooting a basketball is one of the fun rewards that kids get at the end of a study session. There is a hoop in the center that they can throw the ball towards. But when the kids are too short or young or weak it is the coaches themselves that serve as the hoop, by holding their arms out in a loop for the ball to go in. I was impatient and excited to get this whole process over with. I've always interpreted the whole "You wait here." line as a power play. I unfortunately didn't take the time to appreciate that the manager was getting hit in the face by a ball as she made me wait. And that had I remained working there, I would be the one getting hit in the face. I signed the papers and got the heck out of dodge, assuring myself I would avoid the Upper East Side.

When I got home I opened my email and there was a invitation to come speak with another tutoring center whom I've worked for before, only at a different location. They pay better and I have less of a moral problem with them. So I'm going to talk to them tomorrow night. Funnily enough they are right across the street from the other center.

Today I didn't spend any money, well not yet.

Saturday
I found some PBR near the eggs I was shopping for at the grocery store. They needed a home.

Sunday
I did laundry for $5.

So let's do a Breakdown.

Starting Balance: -$111.75

In: $30

Saturday:
Coffee: $1.75
PBR & Eggs: $5.75

Sunday:
Laundry: $5

Monday
$0

Balance: -$94.25

I Quit! I Score!

2007-09-15T08:11:00.000-07:00

Well, true to my word I quit. I also left them high and dry. I realized last night that if I worked in that place I would sit around thinking that everybody sucked. Including me. So I since I have no desire to suck, I won't be participating in their clicking games.

But let's take a step back. Thursday morning I had to take a taxi cab a short distance. Not something I like to do. Cabs in New York have recently had a strike in protest of putting GPS systems and credit card machines in all cabs. This cabbie had one already, so I asked him if he went on strike anyway. You can talk to cabbies in New York. If you don't mind new and different smells. He said that the cab company he works for recalled the cab. I thought that was dumb to keep a guy from making a day's wages because his boss doesn't like New York policies. The cabbie wasn't a fan of the card machines. They take 5 percent of each sale. He was even enthusiastic enough to show me some receipts and the amounts the card company took from them. I don't know what those screens are in these cabs. I'm afraid to touch them and incur some $2 surcharge. So I don't. But I tipped the guy a few bucks on a $5 ride.

Later that night I went back to work at the academic center. We ended our shift with a meeting in which we were informed of the referral process. At the end of September the center is having a pizza party and every child is invited, IF, if they bring a friend. One that doesn't already pay to go here. We were told to approach children and ask them if they had any friends that they could bring to the pizza party. It's like fishing for children with pizza. We were also asked to follow up with the parent and get the phone number of their child's friend's parent.

Then we did some role playing. I participated by being a parent. I was approached by one of the role playing tutors and basically affected the kind of confusion than any moderately aware person would who was being asked for the phone number of the parent of their child's playmate. My character was called "the jerk" parent. Which is fine. Being a jerk seems like just another demonstration that you're a person. It's not the first time people have regarded me as such. This was really the last straw. I'm being paid next to nothing at this place. I think the tutoring process, hovering over students and telling them to click buttons is simply teaching skills and co-dependence when kids need knowledge and independent thought, and now I've gone from tutoring to a sales position without commission. I think the person who reigns in the most cash would get a prize. I hope it dawns on them that they've traded their soul for tinsel. After the meeting I had a couple of beers for perspective.

So on Friday, I wrote a brief letter of resignation, and said I would cover my weekend shifts. But I reneged on that in an admittedly unprofessional manner. Aside from general laziness and a lack of tolerance for the place, I feel that the last thing those kids need is a disgusted thirty-year old hovering over them while they do something he feels they should stop immediately. I feel bad for leaving the girl on duty by herself but I also think I did right by the innocent victims in this little charade. Ironically, I got an emailed reprimand from the manager telling me that my actions harmed the students. It would've been much worse had I showed. Like those kids want to be there on Saturday morning anyway. I did apologize to the person I left stranded. There's not much more I can do, other than trust my instincts sooner. If you ever are in a situation where you're aware that you're screaming inside while it's going on, that's a good time to let it be known and then get the fuck out of dodge. Sigh.

Last night, Gen said she would come over for dinner. I had gone to Trader Joe's for some Charles Shaw earlier. I wasn't sure if she was going to show seeing as how I mistakenly thought that she would call me sometime. I was starving after having cleaned the apartment and so I ordered dumplings and Gen didn't answer her phone. Just as I was going to get the dumplings, Gen called. She was coming around the corner with the bread and cheese. We didn't have enough ingredients for the sandwiches and so we went around the corner and bought some tomatoes and avocados and a half a roasted chicken. $6 for all of it. Then we watched 300, which is a fun movie. It's like a violence porno. Not a violent porno, but a porno where it is violence that is the graphically presented fantasy. Like the free men of Sparta, I too am free.

2 Day Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$107.75

IN: $20

OUT
Thursday:
Cab: $7
Beer: $2

Friday:
Dumplings: $3.75
Wine: $3.25
Avocados: $2.50
Chicken: $3.50
Beer: $2

Balance: -$111.75

Like a Freegan

2007-09-12T20:53:00.000-07:00

Today I lived like a freegan and spent nothing. That's what freegans do. They are a combination of non-consumer/scavengers, who swear off a life of consumerism, hence the free. Cross it with non-animal byproduct eating term vegan and boom, freegan. But unlike vegans, freegans will eat flesh if they run across some good free flesh. Speaking of which, my landlady asked me tonight if I like fish. I said "I like fish." I had a big fish for dinner. Like a freegan. Sing it to the tune of the Maddona song.

I also worked my second job. Which fills me with disgust. It's just an academic skills factory where people pay people to do the kind of shit with their kids that they themselves should be doing. Only we do it with computers. And this constant hovering over kids encouraging them to push buttons. All of it slyly concealed franchise consumerism. Like McDonalds they sell learning centers and then distribute all their branded materials to the centers and parents. They offer cards as incentives and then the kids use the tickets to buy prizes. And everything from the incentive cards to the crappy, Chinese-made, skiball toys to the study materials that they pass out is branded with the center's name.

And the management, they fucking sell it all. They tell ten-year olds to go to school the next day and tell their friends how much fun they had at this click factory. The center gives out extra incentive cards if kids wear their branded t-shirt (which they bought with incentive cards). Turning kids into little walking billboards. And I have to be friendly and always smiling and they are giving me close to minimum wage. I have a Master's degree. Now what kind of message is that sending? Parents are paying good money to see that their kids go to college and attain a degree and perhaps an advanced degree and here in front of them is a person with an advanced degree getting paid next to minimum wage.

It just seems like some Stanford Economic Masters canidate's thesis. A money making cult built on the golden mantra of Education while its priests are the greatest example of the faith's innate fallacy.

Wow. I have to quit.

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$117.75

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$107.75

A Trip Down Short-Term Memory Lane

2007-09-11T18:17:00.000-07:00

With the month in review and much needed apologies taking up blog space I haven't had a chance to tell you what I've been up to lately. It feels like quite a lot. The last time you got a taste of daily life was last Friday and that was just a taste.

I spent Friday night making a big batch of stew, drinking wine and eating chocolate that I had accumulated during my dark frenzy of consumerism. It was a make up party with just me and my blog. Well Saturday I awoke with a renewed vigor. I went to work out early in the morning (10:30 AM) and then I came home and began pulling apart my cabinets. Well not the cabinets themselves really but the all the dishes, plastic shelving liners and goods were removed. See I've got a problem, a few of them, maybe dozens and they all have six legs. Roaches are common enough in New York, but they've been politely hiding up until recently. Now I spot the little assholes scurrying around and it makes me sad. I must be filthy. I must be a dirty pig incapable of keeping a drafty 30 year old apartment free of these little poopers. I mean that literally, incidentally. Just look up roaches and you'll realize they're rightfully unwelcome. All this cleaning required a detergent purchase. Speaking of unwelcome squatters, I was also watching the Sooners play football while all this was going on.

I got a call from a Canadian friend who was in town. Not my normal Canadian friend but another one, she's more Nova Scotia way. Her and her brother wanted me to meet in SOHO for the art parade, but between Sooners, and dishes, and the need to shower and eat I didn't get there until 5 and the parade was over. But we ducked in to some bookstores in the area, I had to grab some water for $1.50, should've gone tap. We later dropped into a Mexican place, Pequnios? maybe. I had a chorizo quesadea and filled up on chips and salsa, still I spent $8. I left my friends at the movie theater and went back uptown to watch some flicks and maybe finish that wine. I was sort of rerouted via phone and ended up visiting another friend until the small hours of the night. Ah, youth.

Sunday morning I returned to the gym, and after a peanut butter snack I headed out to participate in my first ever Meetup.com event. For those of my readers form whom reading my blog is the hippest internet related thing they do, Meetup.com is a site where folks can search for activities and find other like-minded/activity-oriented people. So if you want to have a cigar smoking club, you can arrange one at this site. I was interested in Ultimate! Ultimate! is just a cheesy name for a Frisbee based game (aka Ultimate Frisbee,) it's like basketball and football combined only less organized. It's a great excuse to run your hiney off. The group met in Central Park on The Great Hill. It was a friendly affair and I had a really great touchdown grab. Nothing quite like ditching your defender with a quick sprint and the slapping a round piece of plastic between your hands. That was probably the highlight of the weekend. I didn't stay too long though, I felt like I was about to collapse from heat stroke or old age. My legs continue to hurt. Afterwards I walked around the park. Went home, more work on the cabinets, cleaning takes time. Then I dropped by the grocery store for some rations, and I also grabbed a couple of beers for an evening of tennis and more cleaning.

Monday it was back to work. And that's all fine and good. We keep getting new people at work, it's like we're the non-profit that could. I had to go to work after work, for this new job where I'm being trained. But I forgot my corporate literature and that blew. Because then I had to run home and by the time I got it, I had 15 minutes to get 30 blocks. So I had to grab a cab. I paid 8 dollars for a ride to a job where after taxes I probably made $16. After work I wrestled with the internet/cable company who unnecessarily cut off my internet access. Hence no blog. But it was finally resolved, though now I have way more channels than I could ever need, want, or watch.

Today I bought halal at lunch and a couple of beers after work. I think it all shakes out in the end. I may not be cutting my red down, but I'm not adding to it either.

Breakdown.

Starting Balance: -$122.25

In: $40

Saturday:
Detergent: $3
Water: $1.50
Mexican: $8

Sunday:
Groceries: $7
Beer: $2

Monday:
Taxi: $8

Tuesday:
Halal: $4
Beer: $2

Balance: -$117.75

August and Everything After

2007-09-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

Damn. August. What a month. A month that lives up to its namesake, an emperor of a month, August. Many celebrate August because of the great Perseid meteor shower, or the fact that it is the birth ground of the greatest of Astrological signs, Leo, or because the clash of football gear cracks again on those distant, great, sprinkler-soaked swaths of manicured grass. Some love it because it heralds a return to college and the hazy daze of keg parties and text books, lascivious looks cast across library study room tables. The chlorine of the swimming pools takes on a pungent wanning shimmer, the lawn boy looks forward to the day he can stop hedging, the great locust cacophony swells and rattles, a crescendo before the end of summer. That dumb dog star howling his love for great Helios, who can barely reign in his earth diving steeds. God bless that smoldering bitch of an end of a season of a month. It's something else, no denying.

Sitting down to sketch out a quick review of the past months blogs I was surprised at all the activity. I had a friend from Italy come and visit. We drank scotch and watched the Hold Steady. I played Scrabble in my home and drank Sangria. There was a Lobster Burger at the Bryant Park Grill, gratis, care of the company. I aced a part time job interview, no doubts in my mind. A year ago I was a bumbling pickle, now I'm just a chilly cuke soaking in my smarmy brine. I met a young lady, we exchanged glances, had a few dances, and now there may be romance in the air as autumn sails in. I turned older, celebrated a birthday I was showered with good love from friends of many quarters both familiar and forgotten. I sipped Jalepeno Margaritas, scotch with a senorita, and beer with the fan base at the premier Leo McKegger. Whoo hoo. I made my own Skyline chili, performed admirably at a presentation, starting reading more poetry, and watched a few movies. The sky opened up and flooded the subway, I ate herring on a Sunday at Aquavit and chased it with beer. This is a lucky little life I've got over here. I learned that the White Horse Tavern sucks, Frodo wanders the streets of NYC (but is not lost) and credit card companies are Satan (care of Maxed Out, go watch this now). All in all it has been a pretty exceptional month. And even though we are more than a third of the way into September, this month is turning out OK too.

As far as the function of the blog. Well there's no denying that this month was a failure. I'm more than $150 behind and even that wouldn't put me on a free and clear track by 2008. Now, in the last 2 months I've been able to pay off $1200 of my bill. But I started at $4500 and if I was to be on track I should've knocked $1500 off. We'll see how well this new job helps out. If I can pull down about $400 more a month, I should still be on track to make it. I also need to come up with a way to get back in the green. I'm thinking Freegan. But we'll see if I've got the guts for that.

Updates coming. G'night, sweet August. G'nite Moon.

I Owe Somebody an Apology.

2007-09-07T19:06:00.000-07:00

Hello, Blog. Listen Blog, we need to talk. See, I like you. I really do. And I'm not breaking up with you. I'm not. That isn't what this is about. At the end of my spiel you and I will still be friends. We'll continue to hold hands and be one. But Blog, baby Blog of mine, you make it hard. You do. See, I want to be a part of this. Many people do. I want to feel this love be this person and know this thing. I do. I do. But ten dollars a day? That's it? Ten dollars a day. Man Bloggy, Bloggy baby of mine, Bloggy boo, that's a lot to ask. That's a whole lot to ask.

See. I shut you out sure. And believe it or not Blog, peoples were disappointed. They were, they think we're a good couple. A few days, a week without you and me together, Blog, it hurt folks, folks I care about. They suffered in their own way. And it wasn't really an intended break. I didn't even mean it to last as long as it did. But you pushed me. See, I was talking to a friend of mine today. She said that sometimes the denial leads to going on binges. And that's what happened. That is exactly what happened. Well that and a friend came to town. And I told you blog, I said that I wouldn't be counting this weekend. There's no point on it. And listen. Listen, Blog, I've been with you for two months and I've been trying real hard to keep it together. So I went a little AWOL this weekend. I may have even gone backwards. I may have, como se dice, overextended myself.

See Adam was in town and you know how much I love that kid. So we went to bars, we went to ATMs, we went to restaurants. We didn't go to the tailors or the haberdashers or the dog tracks, but if you look around my kitchen you'll notice a new spice rack (crazy I know), you might see a few cans of beer, a few bottles of wine, you might trip over a new power strip or two. You might notice lots of things. But I swear baby, I've got it under control. Today, today I spent nothing. But otherwise, I put a lot of good money towards the bar tab that would better have been spent on the credit card. Sorta. I had fun this weekend. I relaxed. I did what you do as a host in New York City. You see the whole place all over again through the eyes of your guest and that is worth a good deal. But I feel like you and me have got some making up to do, Blog.

Listen. I started a new job. And that should help. That should help a bit. Unfortunately it is a corporate bullshit nightmare that reminds me of my first job at Taco Bueno. Blog, I'm working for you, in my way. I have to memorize a bunch of forms and look over mountains of non-disclosure, safety, harassment, and tutoring strategy forms, as if you can reduce teaching kids to a few pages. As if any one should have to go through all this crap just to make $6 an hour after taxes. I've worked in colleges, other tutoring centers, summer camps for children and I never had to go through the kind of rigmarole these jerks are putting me through. But I'm doing it for you Blog. And I swear, I won't be far away.

Let's hug it out, Blog.

Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$132.25

In: $10

Out: $0

Ending Balance: -$122.25

The Frugal's Back and Doubly Employed

2007-08-29T18:32:00.000-07:00

Well, Stella came and Stella fled. Frugality is not for the weak of heart or will. But she left me with some great ideas. I've got to get down to the dumpling house. Though I feel I should bring a native Cantonese speaker like Stella with me. That way I don't miss out on all the old ladies ragging on each other. Nothing goes with dumplings like a spicy concoction of hen pecking.

This last weekend I fled to Cherry Hill, New Jersey. My grandmother lives there. There I ate deliciously ripe Jersey tomatoes, so good. I read. I slept a lot and I helped grandma spread some top soil around, trimmed a few tree branches, moved heavy objects.

But the trip was away from the city and as such, we won't be counting any expenses involved in that trip. I still spent enough before and after to make the balance even more dismal. It's the going out folks. That kills. Tonight I made two dishes that I can eat repeatedly, so hopefully I won't have to spend anything for the next couple of days.

Yesterday I got a great piece of news. I landed a part time job. This little gig that asks for about ten hours a week will speed up the whole bill paying process and after provide me with even more earnings. This is really good news. And I'm quite excited about starting on Friday. This weekend I have a friend coming to town. I'm thinking I might as well suspend my efforts for labor day. They can resume at a later date. This Frugal needs a break of his own.

Speaking of breaks, here's a breakdown of what I've been up to.

The Long Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$115.75

In: $50

Friday
Wendy's: $4

Sunday:
Groceries: $29
Beer: $2

Monday:
Laundry: $6.50
Bleach: $1.25
Paper Towels $1.50

Tuesday:
Groceries: $5.25
Halal: $4
Banana: $.25
Bar: $20

Wednesday:
Groceries: $3

Balance: -$132.25

Stella Gives it a Go

2007-08-27T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hello, Paul's adoring fans. I'm Stella, Paul's co-worker and rather poor substitute for a frugal blogger (see below for the full story). A little while ago, Paul proposed the "Gotham Frugal Challenge" over office tea-time, which I accepted like the cocky jerk that I am, sure that it would be cake. Delicious and affordable cake.

I had a few (cheap) tricks up my sleeve, for instance, Dumpling House on Eldridge by the Grand Street B/D stop in Chinatown. The tiny kitchen and even tinier eat-in quarters serves up authentic potstickers, as the joint's name might suggest. They are snatched up faster than the Mandarin-speaking ladies clad in white paper hats can make them: uniformly crispy fried bottoms, steaming pork and chive filling, just greasy enough that they must (with no objections from this eater) be doused in Sriracha and soy sauce. At five for a dollar, there is no frugal-gourmet equal. Also of note are the boiled dumplings (10 for $2), and the beef noodle soup ($3), though these items may be more attractive for their price than their flavors. I still have yet to try the sesame pancakes: huge flat disks of fried dough coated in sesame seeds, wedged like pizza slices and stuffed with meat and vegetables. I usually get my dumplings to-go, park it by the basketball courts near Grand and Chrystie, and gawk at the massive confusion that is Chinatown ball.

Notice that I have not actually said that I ate there on Friday. Well, my dear reader, it's because I didn't. Frugal in theory is not frugal in practice, the lesson du jour for this reckless spendthrift. In theory, I could have eaten at Dumpling House and had enough left over to scratch the Friday night itch so familiar to the twenty-something in me, and grab a drink at a sticky-floored, notoriously cheap bar (Cheap Shots on 1st Ave b. E 9th and St. Mark's is a favorite during
off-peak hours). But in practice, I found it hard not to say "Fuck it, Stella. It's not your damn blog anyway."

On Friday, four of my friends and I spent the bulk of the night at Cooper 35 Asian Pub (on Cooper Square just below E 6th), where they serve barely passable, barely Asian grub and watered-down drinks on the cheap. $4 cocktails include martinis, mojitos, margaritas, and whiskey sours-- but buyer beware, you get what you pay for here. My gin martini was one part well gin, one part vermouth, and one part tap water. We would have left sooner if it weren't for the coincidence of the following facts: 1. The service was excellent. The waiter was on point, and as a result, the drinks came quicker than my high school boyfriend. I definitely had drinks that I would never otherwise order just because the waiter asked (kamikaze shots and a Jager-bomb? I plead the fifth.) 2. We were sitting in the outdoor patio. This means that none of us needed to get up for cigarettes, and instead focused all our time and energy into getting drunker by the minute. 3. They brought us edamame. Hook, line, and sinker.

We spent so much time there that we racked up a $170 bill, and we were too drunk to question it. With tax and tip, between the five of us, that's just above $40 each. So much for a ten bucks a day.

The following night some friends and I went to Reservoir on University Place between E 10th and 11th. This spot may be old news for some, but I'm not an NYU student, and moreover I've migrated to the outer burroughs (I live in Astoria), where news of hip happenings arrives via Pony Express, which is a decidedly inconvenient mode of transport on the Queensboro Bridge. Reservoir was good overall: we had excellent service again (apparently we look like chump fools, shaking uncontrollably from alcohol withdrawal every time we walk into a bar), and we staked out the best seats in the house-- two huge comfy couches that faced each other in the back corner, forming a private living room area for the four of us. The Saturday night beer special was an old faithful: Yuengling amber lager at $3.50 a pint. We also got a very tasty, pleasantly crispy, well-sauced basket of 20 hot buffalo wings for $7.50.

Rather than shock and awe the Gotham Frugal audience with the again exorbitant bill our Saturday night came to, I will quickly change the subject and list some of our drunken jukebox selections: Otis Redding "Hard to Handle," Deee-Lite "Groove Is in the Heart," Toadies "Possum Kingdom," Daft Punk "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger," The Animals "House of the Rising Sun."

All in all, folks, I will have to confess defeat. The Frugal part of me has suffered a rather severe beating from the Gotham part of me, and despite my wide-eyed and bushy-tailed belief that knowledge of a few good deals in this city would help keep me within a budget of $10 a day, I lack the commitment. Also, I drink like a fish.

But I do have a newfound respect for Paul's cheap ass (though I have to say, Paul, cab fare is your Achilles' heel). And even though I lost the Gotham Frugal Challenge, I reserve the right to say: "Fuck it. It's not my goddamn blog anyway."

Starting balance: $0

In: $20

Friday:
Chicken & rice halal: $5
Cocktails and shots at Cooper 35: $45

Saturday:
Lentil soup at Murray's Bagels: $4
Beer and wings at Reservoir: $20

Balance: -$54

Books, Bars, and Bums

2007-08-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday afternoon, I decided to do something that I'd been putting off which could potentially save me a good deal of money. I paid my library fines. The New York Public Library is pretty great. They are fairly comprehensive and they are often nice enough to give you the books you want if you ask for them. They do not however suffer tardiness lightly.

I'm the kind of jerk that will check out a book indefinitely. When I was an adjunct professor I discovered, much to my delight, that I didn't have to pay library fines because I was faculty. This led to books being arranged in stacks around my apartment for years. Each tower was symbolic of literary ambition that went largely unfulfilled.

But I don't have carte blanche at the New York library and in order to check out any new books, I had to pay off not all of my fines but enough. I paid $10, wandered the stacks and fetched Jack Gilbert's book "Refusing Heaven" and Anne Sexton's collected work. Sexton is great and we all need to read more Gilbert.

Thursday was a tough day. I keep getting these late night phone calls that I keep taking. They leave me tired and losing sleep. I didn't have a lunch to pack, so after packing breakfast (PB&Honey) I hit the tamale stand. At my place of business we often gather for an afternoon tea time. It's probably the coolest thing we do. My co-worker also recently returned from Japan with brand new tea. I asked if he also had fetched some snacks to serve at tea. To my chagrin he served some rock hard miso biscuits that tasted like graham crackers and, I don't know, hazel nut. I didn't finish mine, but it was nice of him to bring them.

Then I went out last night to party at Automatic Slim''s. Before arriving I had to grab something to eat, I ducked into a deli for a ham sandwich and chips. I only ate about half and then danced and danced. Unfortunately I was taking a break outside when a man accosted me for money. The typical bum story. A statement of honesty, a complement, an introduction, description of a terminal disease, a request for an outrageous amount, all the while being both mildly pathetic and vaguely threating. He got $5 out of me. What can I say? He had the hustle.

After Automatic Slim's, which had to be fled on account of the massive amounts of young, stout professionals that flooded the place, my party absconded to White Horse Tavern. This was sort of like leaving sucky for suckier. Before we set out I caught sight of character actor Fisher Stevens and I had to stifle the desire to say "Dude, I loved you in My Science Project."

But that's neither here nor there. The point is, don't go to The White Horse tavern. I guess it's bad enough that they celebrate the fact that they are the bar that helped Dylan Thomas poison himself, but they also have just lousy service. They poured a shitty Maker's Mark, which I don't know how you mess that up, but they did it tasted like it had gin in it. The fat bastard behind the bar refused to fix it. And when the kitchen was closed and my friends went to get something to eat, they were bounced from the bar for eating in it. Basically it's a low rent hive of idiocy that I will never return to.

The night drug on and the subways frustrated so I resorted to cabbing it home. Going out is bad. No more of this.

Two Day Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$97.75

In: $20

Wednesday
Banana: $.25
Library Fines: $10

Thursday
Tamales: $2
Bananas: $.50
Ham Sandwich: $5
Bum: $5
Cab: $15

Balance: -$115.50

Fellowship of the Yawn

2007-08-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Even on a slow day here in New York City, the observant walker might catch a glimpse of the more exotic flora and fauna that the city has to offer. Today it was Elijah Wood on 42nd across from Grand Central. Freshly arrived from Metro Middle Earth?

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$107.75

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$97.75

Tao Te Metro

2007-08-20T17:27:00.000-07:00

The New York subway system is the largest subway in the world. It's spaghetti mix of colored vessels pumps millions of people all over the city every day, and can baffle tourists and New Yorkers alike. Every month my company takes $78 dollars out of my paycheck, before applying taxes, and buys me a 30-day pass, which provides unlimited access to the five boroughs. The pre-tax purchase saves me about 30 cents on the dollar, I think. But the ticket is the saddle by which I ride these gray beasts and I take pride in knowing their ways and moods, which are always evolving.

A few weeks ago the system flooded but then later came back on-line. The weekend schedules switch things up and the human factor is always throwing some sort of spanner in the works. Today, on the morning commute someone pulled the emergency break. There were bubbles of panic boiling. As the steam pipe incident and this weekend's Ground Zero fire prove, terrorism is never far from the mind. But despite that, I almost always blame any tardiness on my own late start.

To the outsider the process of boarding and riding may look like chaos. Since I moved here, I've seen the order of things and begun honing my route. In the morning I walk down to the down town end of the cars. Not only because these cars are a bit less crowded but also because they will end up at the Grand Central platform in a spot crucial to my subterranean route. When the train pulls in at 116th, I can size up the lead 3 cars through the scarred Plexiglas windows and choose which one is most likely to offer a seat. I prefer sitting because it's easier to read. And if you've got a good book, the ride goes by so quick you might even miss your stop.

In the evenings I have more of a choice. I can take the 6 uptown and have a longer, though less complicated ride, or I can take the 4 or 5 for a quick shot up to 86th where I can switch over. I even know what car to be in (third to last) and where in that car (near the rear door) to be for the quickest dash up the stairs at 86th to catch that 6 train. Again the human factor and the amount of crowding can interfere with this route science, but the subway is for sharing, that's what's most important. The subway is the fastest way around town, but a little knowledge can make it even faster. Readers, I'm sure many of you have more complicated routes, which offer several options. I'd love to hear about your route knowledge.

I paid $3 for peanut butter this morning to make my daily breakfast. And I left the apartment without lunch so I ended up buying halal. I actually got two tasty meals out of the Halal cart on 40th and 5th, paid $4.50. Those things are far superior to the hot dog carts. Though both meats are similarly mysterious.

Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$110.25

In: $10

Out: $7.50

Balance: -$107.75

The Gotham Frugal Meets His Fan Base

2007-08-19T07:20:00.000-07:00

Readers, I know you're out there. Google Analytics tells me that I've been viewed in some 15 countries and territories and that my most loyal viewers are stationed in Oklahoma, North Carolina, and of course New York City. But last night I had the pleasure of meeting a few of the faces behind the hits.

But first, Friday. I had all of Friday off. The morning consisted of some internetworking. Later I went to the gym to workout. Unfortunately I had lost my membership card and had to pay $5 for its replacement. Later in the evening I went out to visit my bartender friend who works near Union Square. Every New Yorker should have a friend who tends bar. I wasn't planning on staying out too long, and I thought I might enjoy a little wine at a point later down the line, so I dropped by Trader Joe's. To combine frugality with a touch (small touch) of class would be to invest a few dollars in the legendary Charles Shaw variety of vino. AKA Three Buck Chuck. So after $3.25 I stuffed the bottle in my bag and headed off to the bar. There I was able to have a few good drinks on the house and chat. But you can't leave your friend hanging, so the bar keep got $7. Later, for whatever reason I had to stop by the local bar near my house and chill with a Stella. $6.

Earlier in the week one of my loyal readers, Amy, invited me over to her place in Brooklyn for a Saturday kegger. Her treat. Free beer. Two words that make the heart go a little fluttery. The last time I'd been to a keg party had to have been well over a year ago. It was a fun group, though significantly intoxicated by the time I'd gotten there. My favorite part of the evening was when Amy would introduce me as "the ten-dollars-a-day guy." There were various moments of recognition. It was like I'd gotten a very small taste of celebrity status. And it tasted good. So thanks Amy, and thanks to the readers who enjoy the blog. You give me strength.

One of the remarkable things about this particular group was the high concentration of French speakers. But everyone speaks the universal language of "Whoohoo!" And with the keg tapped at 10:30 I think one could declare the party a fast success. So raise your plastic cups to the first annual "Leo McKegger."

After the keg party I got an invitation to join a few more friends for a drink in Manhattan. Unfortunately due to some poor attention on my part, I ended up walking about 7 avenues in the wrong direction. At one point somewhere around 10th Ave I was wedging myself through a group of late night partiers and I heard the most amazing little voice in my head. The voice said "Go back to New Jersey, you assholes." I was struck by the comment. When did I become such a jerk? When did I start to disregard the rest of the planet and accredit value to this small population? When did the sidewalks become my own personal dominion? Is this a sign of transformation? Have I become a New Yorker?

I hopped on the L train and made my way back to the Union Square to meet with my friends. They wanted to eat at Le Express. I had actually filled up on pizza at the kegger, but I ordered a beer. There we had a pleasant late night snack. They were kind enough to pay, seeing as how my recent birthday may have slipped out. I fell into a subway car and rolled back home, for some three buck Chuck and much needed REM sleep.

This morning I awoke with no plans in mind. The smell of the little greasy spoon crammed under my apartment was tormenting me as I tried to compose today's blog. I felt no desire to spend money or eat anything for that matter. Breakfast is a sort of pain in the butt for me. I don't wake up ravenous and I have a particular palate in the morning. Unfortunately, I never became one with the breakfast cereal culture. Try as I have. All of this was solved when my dear friend who keeps buying me dinner called me and asked if I wanted to join her for birthday brunch at Aquavit, a high class Scandinavian smorgasborg.

It was upscale so I put on my best business casual and arrived at a posh windowless place where we spent the morning eating different varieties of herring, drinking beer and coffee. It sounds like such an odd way to start the day but it all evened out in the end. It was quite a fabulous birthday gift and I left full and glad. Then we walked around Midtown. I liked having a long conversation at Rockefeller Square. Then we went to FAO Schwartz which is vaguely disturbing in that you can see the culture of distraction crystallize in one place. I basically spent a few hours walking by a bunch of stuff I don't really want. Which was interesting. Sidhartha used to laugh at hunger, I'm learning to laugh at commerce.

The Weekend Breakdown.

Starting Balance: -$119

In: $30

Out:
Gym Card: $5
Wine: $3.25
Tip: $7
Stella: $6

Balance -$110.25

Older, Happier, Less Productive

2007-08-16T20:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday marked a day of reprieve for me. Having completed my most recent circle around the sun, my friends decided that I should put a possee together and eat sushi. So we did. My father promised to underwrite the event but thanks to the generosity of my friends I didn't have to pay. After there was dancing and whiskey. Are you noticing a trend with all this whiskey? There's a lot of it. Regardless, this artificial limit I've been setting was off limits.

But I had a good year. Moved to New York, wrote a novel, got a job, got an apartment and started a blog. Next year is looking up as well, I should clear out some credit debt and get a pay bump. It'll be great.

Today was tough. I was hung over and unproductive. No more drinking on the weekdays. I'm now sort of intentionally sweating it out in my unairconditioned living room. It's like my body is crying out all the abuse I've put it through. Today I opened the day with tamales. That seems like it happened last week. The pablano tamale is very tasty. I usually get the verde. The vendors in my neighborhood fish the tamales out of these big steel colanders grocery carts. You can spot them by their big beach umbrellas. It's so rustic and homey. In a New York way, not a Cracker Barrel way. I starved the rest of the day until I got home where I ordered some Chinese food.

I've been toying with my poetry again. I guess because I've been feeling romantic. Romantic feelings always help with the writing. It makes it seem less silly somehow. There's nothing that puts you on the edge like a potent mix of insecurity, wishful thinking, passion, and wonder. The sticky feeling of doubt and fear of disappointment makes sitting down and punching out a few lines of near nonsense logical by comparison. I think of that TV series "John From Cincinnati" (which HBO canceled) when John says, "Mitch Yost should get back in the game." Paul should get back in the game. Not just the writing game.

Breakdown

Starting Balance -$129.50

In: $20

Out:
Tamales: $2.50
Chinese: $7

Balance: -$119

Retirement Day: 43 years, and a day away.

2007-08-14T16:53:00.000-07:00

Today at work I met my retirement fund manager. I gave him the blog address, so if he's reading this, "Welcome."

My dad is a stock broker. Having a stock broker for a father means you get to drive to school every day with a financial adviser. When you're twelve, you could care less. All you're thinking about is going with Ben Kenobi to join the rebellion and learn the ways of the force. Jedis don't need 403B's, they have light sabers. And with Nintendo putting out all those great games every month, saving was very far from my mind. But one day you begin to associate the dollar with a certain amount of freedom. And then you realize you don't want to work forever. And then all those early morning lectures about saving and managing your retirement sort of resolve in your memory and you find yourself contemplating a force more powerful than the Death Star, compound interest.

The "Pension Guy," as some titled him, showed us one of my favorite financial magic tricks. Let's say you had two investors. The first investor is a tightwad like myself who spent his youth socking away $2000 a year from the age of 20 t0 30, then decides that's enough. The second investor, the guy I'd like to be, is a crazy spendthrift who tosses dollars around until his days of wild living catch up with him and he sobers up and patiently invests $2000 dollars a year from 30 to 50. Investor 1 has invested $20,000, Investor 2 has invested $40,000. If they both started investing at the same time, after 30 years of interest who would have more money? Investor 1, with only half the investment. That's pretty cool.

So you youngens need to buy the cheaper tequila and buy up those Roth IRAs. And if you come across some windfall, like a bag full of money, or a banking error in your favor, buy a good bottle of bourbon and with the rest buy mutual funds and forget it ever happened. Because you'll be able to make the rent this month just like you did last month, by rolling change and doing choirs for mom. But your chance to get rich slow will have passed you by.

Today I was lazy and had the laundry mat wash my clothes. I also got a hair cut which almost makes this month a wash. However, because I have to present tomorrow for some of our funders at work I had to get a trim. People at work don't care if I'm all over the place. But I can't be shaggy in front of the checkbooks. That being said, much like the dry cleaners, the hair cut will go down as a business

Yesterday I was good. Good and bored. I turned down tempting offers to go out and play-ye-yay. I sat at home eating some homemade Skyline chili and watching reruns.

2 Day Breakdown

Starting Balance -$140.50

In: $20

Out:
Laundry: $9

Balance: -$129.50

The Gotham Not So Frugal

2007-08-12T16:41:00.000-07:00

As I approach my 1st year anniversary as a New Yorker, I think I can say certain things about New Yorkers. And I suppose this goes with out saying, but New Yorkers have a weakness for New York. And this weakness drives us to share the city with others. And that, unfortunately for this project, can be an expensive proposition.

Friday came and I managed to leave the house without lunch again. This had happened before but I had left food at work that I could eat, and my co-worker shared a bit of her lunch with me. Not because she had pity on my poor soul, but because she had too much. After work I came home and decided my friend, Sarah from Italy, who had been parked on my couch for most of the week needed to get out and see the town.

I had wanted to eat at Mexicana Mama ever since I heard the toothy, loud mouth Rachel Ray mention it on her show. We arrived and I treated myself to a jalepeno margarita. It set my lips on fire with its spicy goodness. I had the chili relleno, my friend got a chicken salad that was also yummy. During dinner I got a call from a new friend, the one who I went to Dexy's with a week ago. Of course I didn't answer it until after dinner because I practice good phone etiquette. I called my new friend back and she suggested that I join her for scotch on the upper west side. Her treat.

I proposed this to my friend from Italy, but Sarah decided to take a cab home instead. So much for sharing the joy of NYC with her. So we split a cab uptown, the cabby dropped me at the upper west side. There I was presented with a peaty infusion of distilled malt. Being a prohibitively expensive, we went in search of drinks elsewhere and ended in the Dive Bar. Here there was more whiskey, a crazy fish, and a couple making a very public display of affection. I cabbed it home, making Friday one very expensive night. My second reckless weekend in a row.

Saturday was all about the MOMA. My friend woke up ready to explore the arts and I went with her. She covered my $20 ticket which made me glad. I stood very close to the Yves Klein hoping that my whole world could turn that shade of blue, for a little while. We took a break to eat some tasty cart food, and then went to the design store, where The Gotham Frugal refrained from purchasing any of the coolness. Soho followed for my friend wanted to shop. I went home to enjoy the solitude for a bit. But I felt bad as my friend didn't get back until 11ish when I left her at 4.

Today I woke and Sarah, still with me, gave me $5 to go get some groceries for breakfast. I put them to good use and bought some more stuff. At the end of her visit, after an unfruitful search for a birthday gift for me, Sarah had to hop a plane to Italy. I told her that she didn't need to give me anything for my birthday. After all I make more than she does, Euros on not. As I loaded her into the cab, she hugged me and stuffed something in my back pocket. Walking upstairs to my apartment I pulled a folded twenty dollar bill out, it had four more twenties folded with in it. So I'm using this money to buy myself an important gift, a vacuum cleaner for my apartment. I'll see that the other dough goes towards the credit card. Thanks, Sarah. You're really too kind.

Still, it looks like I'm going to be in the red for a long, long time.

Starting Balance: -$71

In: $35

Out:
Friday
Halal Lunch: $4
Mexicana Mama: $37
Bar: $14
Cabs: $16

Saturday
Tamale: $1.25
Coffee: $.75
Halal Lunch: $5

Sunday:
Groceries: $26.50

Ending Balance: -$140.50

We're All Holding Steady

2007-08-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

Well ladies and gents, I think that this particular website should soon become the gathering ground of commiseration for the men and women of Wall Street for they too may soon find themselves on a budget. They had a bad day today and why did they have a bad day? Because they can no longer support the debtor society that America has become. Or at least that's my take on it. I've been drinking scotch and it's late so I can't pull my father into this conversation, though Dad, if you're reading this, leave a comment explaining how I'm wrong about this.

Pop is my guru on all matters financial. I'd like to think that I inherited my distaste for credit from him. But then again, maybe it has to do with all the times he wisely bailed me out of debt to preserve my credit rating and then yelled at me for being irresponsible. Nature, nurture. Chicken, egg. You judge. Either way it works, I hate credit cards.

Speaking of hating credit cards, and perhaps getting a perspective as to what's going on in America when it comes to massive, mind-crushing, share-cropping like debt you should all go out and rent, netflix, whatever the newish Morgan Spurlock film "Maxed Out." It's an insightful look at how the credit card companies are screwing America out of a future by offering them endless credit which Americans can never repay. Unfortunately the "taste for credit" doesn't stop at the citizen but extends all the way up to our beloved leader G Dub. Why doesn't anyone listen to Allen Greenspan? He seems like a smart guy.

But speaking of the weak, today I spent over my budget, which is something like negative sixty last I checked. I went to Kati Roll after work with my friend and I bought this one. Why? I don't know. Then we went to Brooklyn for a "free" concert. Where they asked for $3 per person. They say free and then pressure you at the door. And what happens when you walk in? You are accosted by WaMu automatons begging to see your debit card. It was definitely a carnival moment. In the cheap-trailer-smell-like-cabbage-way, and not the cirque-du-sole way. WaMu is the devil. Bank of America is the devil. I only trust ING right now. But wait. Next paragraph.

The free concert was "The Hold Steady." I love this band. Yes, they are a bit cheesy. Yes, they remind me of the Counting Crows. Yes, they are, as someone wiser put it, one bad saxophone player away from the E Street Band, but man I love these guys, and they were semi-free, but more than worth the $6 I paid to get us in.

Breakdown.

Starting Balance:-$65.50

In: $10

Out:
Kati Roll: $9:50
Hold Steady: $6

Balance: -$71

Oh Brutality, Thy Name Is Gotham!

2007-08-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, it was drinks with people whom share my office space. Today it was drinks with a person I've been sharing my home space. All I know is that next week will be a long one of no spending.

After work last night we went to Happy Hour. It was only moderately happy. Our waitress was unconcerned. She made no attempt to engage us as her customers and even less to service us in a manner that would've been acceptable, if not proper. Nothing gets me quite as much as bad service. Is it so hard to talk to the people in front of you? Shame on that waitress for treating us like drinking machines that she only need feed the right blend of potables, for by not acknowledging us as people, she also reduced herself to the level of automaton. Poor drink tossing robot, you get only measly monetary input.

After the Happy Hour which was really just a sort of "Thank-god-work-is-done-for-the-day" hour, I went home and stopped by the grocers to buy a few zucchinis. Back at mi casa, my guest was busily working on her resume. A great thing if you live in New York, but bad form form if you're visiting. One must go out into the city. Though with it being 104 degrees heat index, I don't blame her. So in the hot, hot apartment I boiled water for pasta and made a decent pasta dish. All the steam set a sweaty glisten upon everyone.

Later a couple of friends showed up with a Scrabble board. Crazed spelling and sangria drinking ensued. I don't know what the deal is with Sangria but it is becoming a feature in my life. I'm not even Spanish. I have to say one of the highlights was my spelling of the work "zonk." It was challenged, and poorly so, for "zonk" means "to stupefy" and my opponents were zonked at my use of the word. I won by a narrow margin.

The night ended followed by rain. And what a rain it was. It flooded all the subways, making morning travel impossible. I got to work more than 2 hours late. After work I had an interview for a second job. One of the stranger interviews I've ever had. I had to respond to scenarios, role play and then actually work. I left with a "We'll call you," but I'm sure I did fine and will get an offer. So that should bring in some extra dough. I must say I was a little uncomfortable when this relatively good looking young woman told me that she wanted to role play, and that it was her favorite part of the interview. I'm all about role playing myself but I like to get to know someone first.

After I got back to the Barrio, my visiting friend who was mysteriously gone called me. She wanted me to join her down town. Which I did. We hung out at the Blind Pig where a scantily clad young vixen offered us free drinks if we offered her and her friend a pick up line. I obliged of course. We ate some jalapeño poppers and dumplings. Neither all that spectacular. Still it cost and I must stop with the costs.

Here's what the last 2 days have been about:

Starting Balance: -$60.25

In: $20

Out:
Happy Hour: $8
Zucchinis: $1
Blind Pig: $15
Gum: $1.25

Balance: -$65.50

The Badness Continues

2007-08-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$6.25

In: $30

Out:
Coffee and Donuts: $3.25
Pot, Ice trays, Measuring cup: $3.25
Deodorant: $4.25
Soil: $3
Groceries: $32.50
Taxi: $25
Wine: $9
Mixers: $3.75

Balance: -$60.25

From the balance you can clearly see that I have been bad. But then again, maybe some people owe me money. Right? Here's the deal. On Saturday morning I awoke in need of coffee. I had a great evening of nature videos and video games. Ah, solitude. I'm lonely but having a good time. Still coffee in the A.M. was in order hence it was off to Dunkin Donuts. What America apparently runs on. Though I bet if you asked most Americans they would tell you that they run on asphalt.
A friend of mine decided to join me from Italy. She was very sweet to put up with all the heat that NYC had decided to put out this weekend. My apartment was hot beyond sleeping but also hot beyond moving, so you had to exist in this paralytic state that involved close proximity to the air conditioner.

But I had to show her the neighborhood and see some sights while we were at it. This weekend had a street festival to offer her. I felt like I was walking her through a Sopranos episode only with Puerto Ricans rather than Italians. We went to the dollar store because my $3 mint plant needed a new home. I also wanted to make ice and measure liquids. Later I got soil for the mint plant so the whole thing ended up at more like $8. But for that eight I've got an unlimited supply of minty joy.

My friend bought me vegetables and scotch in exchange for giving her a place to stay. Not that I minded. Still I had to buy some more groceries to round it all out. I like food. And I need deodorant, can't be smelly. Well you shouldn't be offensively smelly. I had party plans with others and so I dragged my friend along. But the long and skinny of it was we had to get a cab home, but whatever number the host offered me wasn't a cab but a car service.

When I stepped to the curb, I had one extremely drunken friend in tow and the friend who was staying. So I looked at the car and realized I had to enter into negotiations. I knew that a ride from queens to my place was around $18 and a cab from my friends house to mine was about $17. So being a little buzzed myself I shrewdly negotiated a price of $50 to get us to my friend's place in Chelsea and then back to El Barrio. Way to go, Paul. But I told the car service that was all he would get and not to expect a tip. He nodded I asked my company if they agreed and they did. Of course in retrospect I realize that cabs in Italy, where my friend is visiting from, are far more expensive than NYC cabs, so she wasn't reliable, but hey she's making Euros so she can throw money around. Long story short we got to my hood around 3. My friend wanted to go somewhere else and smoke and have a drink and we were graciously welcomed into Dexy's on 112th an 2nd. Go there.

Sunday I had a good friend stop by while the other one absconded to a hotel. I fixed some dinner and had to buy a bit of vino. Then today, after the good friend left, my friend from Italy returned and was interested in drinking the duty free scotch she had bought. So I poured the dimple but had to go downstairs to grab a mixer or three. After watching the movie "Closer" and having a heated argument about it we are settling down to sleep. Yet I be heavy with the lack of funds. Meanwhile, I was a bit under the weather and didn't go to the Lauren Hill concert featured tonight. Bumsville. I wanted to do "that thing, that thing, that thyeyeyeng. Peace ya'll.

A Package and a Dilemma

2007-08-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I came home with a note from the post office that they had a package to deliver to me. I wondered what could be waiting for me. Was it the pair of shoes I left in Chicago? Was it a coffeemaker a friend of mine told me she would send?

At work today we ended the half day with a company luncheon at the Bryant Park Grill behind the big central library, you know with the lions. And even though they say there's no such thing this free lunch was actually really great with oysters on the halfshell and a lobster burger. The place looks like they should shoot a movie in there.

After getting home from lunch, I took a walk in the hot, hot sun down to Tito Puente Way (aka E 110th St) and gathered my parcel. It was of course in the post office, and the line was filled with older something women, which is weird because every post office line I've ever been in has a line comprised mostly of older women, as if super models never have to mail packages or pick them up for that matter. The post office was kind enough to provide entertainment and I watched Robin Williams and Robert di Nero in Awakenings, the fun part of the movie, after the tennis ball and before the return to catatonia.

But the fun couldn't last forever and I when I got to the window I traded my notification slip for a manilla folder. It was from my mother, which helps explain the presence of older women, they're shipping stuff to their children. Mom had shipped some mail that had arrived at the family estate and was addressed to me. In it she included an article about how the new Thor comic will be set near Oklahoma City, which could be promising, depending on how Oklahomans are portrayed. Hopefully he won't be confused with Dr. Ann Thor, a pathologist already working in OKC. Mom also sent another article about a writer from Oklahoma.

And clipped to both with a note reading "a donation to the cause" was $40. And here is the dilemma. How do we define "the cause?" If the cause is paying off my credit card bill than the money should go there. If the cause is surviving on $10 a day then the cash should go to my daily budget. I keep track of the daily balances to give people an idea of how well I'm doing. A negative balance means I'm overspending. But this sort of mana from the gods could fall under the "In" heading changing the whole nature of the balance. But I don't shine to the idea of not buying anything for the next 3 days just so I can run a positive. Keep in mind I haven't been to the grocery store for 2 weeks and that was to pick up my measly rations for the Food Stamp challenge. So I decided that this cash would be used to reduce the negative of my daily balance. Anyone else thrown off by the phrase, "reduce the negative?"

I went directly across the street to the NY Public library to check it out and if there was a book there to pay enough fines to check the book out. But they didn't have the book so I walked home, stopping to buy a mint plant, that will join the basil plant on my fire escape garden. I hope the $3 investment will save me money down the line on mint. I like to use mint in cooking, and mint juleps, or mojitos. I also gave 18 pounds of laundry to the laundro-mat. I should do my own for about half that much but I was too lazy. Finally I bought some Chinese dumplings for dinner. Not the most frugal day.

But let's break it down anyway.

Starting Balance: -$36.25

In: $10
$40 from Mom. Awww.

Out:
Mint: $3
Laundry: $13.25
Steamed dumplings: $3.75

Balance: -$6.25

The Month In Review

2007-08-02T19:12:00.000-07:00

This first month, you could argue, was a failure. The challenge of $10 a day was not met. My average spending from July 1 to July 31 was $11.01. One thousand one hundred and one cents per day over the past 31 days. But if the challenge is actually ten dollars a day in New York City then we have to do a bit of adjusting. See by removing the expenses incurred on the Chicago trip, those clams shelled from the moment I stepped on the plane to O'Hare and off the plane from Cincinnati, my daily spending in the hollowed confines of the greater New York metropolitan area drops to $8.64 per day. And that my friends, you could argue, is a success. But more important than how much I did or didn't spend is what I actually did.

This month I saw a concerts performed by Spoon, The New York Philharmonic, Cinematic Orchestra, and I overheard Brazilian Girls. That's more music than the previous 6 months if not the previous year.

I shared a drink with Patton Oswald, a greeting with Junior Soprano, and a few delicious meals with friends.

I took the Congressional Food Stamp Challenge and did pretty well for what it was worth, though I did bitch a lot. That's what happens when you're hungry. It was a true moment of perspective, a glimpse at the rage and frustration that comes from being on government assistance.

I saw my friends get married. Just stand in front of each other and say "This is it. I'm done looking." That still kind of blows me away.

I ate a salad made from wild weeds, fell in love with belly dancers, narrowly escaped exploding steam pipes, witnessed the fall of Voldemort, and drank to the health of friends both new and old.

This is where I live, this is what I do. This is the Gotham Frugal.

This is the breakdown.

Starting Balance: -$46.25

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$36.25

Oh How The Righteous Fall

2007-08-01T20:17:00.000-07:00

I've been a bad boy. I've been bad. There's no excuse for my behavior. Last night after asking my mom for medical advice I completely dismissed it. For this I feel genuinely bad. But a friend invited me over to drink Sangria and play scrabble. There I met a young woman who was very much about making snacks and hanging out. After our mutual friend sort of dozed off, in classic fashion, we went to a bar. And bars, people, thems are devils.

So I spent $24 there and woke up late for work hungover and still sick. So I dragged my sorry ass off to work. But I had to buy breakfast. Then I got home in no mood to cook. So I ordered hot and sour soup and chicken lo mein. So while I would've started the day off in the black, I'm right back in the red with groceries yet to buy.

Oh and I had to buy The Best of Sam and Dave tonight. Soul Man, Hold on I'm Coming. They are the songs and the routines that two white comedians stole and made into the Blues Brothers.

Such unfrugal behavior. Even when yesterday morning started off with me finding a dollar on the street. I thought it was a sign. But in other news, I may have landed that second job I was talking about so that's good.

So let's do the walk of shame breakdown. Sorry, mom.

Starting Balance: -$18.25

In: $21

Out:
Drinks and tip: $24
Egg Sandwich & Juice: $5
Chinese Food: $7
Sam and Dave: $12

Balance: -$46.25

Ouch

Dinner with my Friend

2007-07-30T19:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight a very generous friend of mine invited me to dinner, this is the same one who let me sleep above her refrigerator. It was odd going back and looking up at my old sleeping hole. I wanted to climb up again just for old time sake. Dinner was a lovely Asian affair with bite sized egg rolls, brown rice, green beans and shrimp. And a bit of wine. It was yummy. For this feast I gladly did the dishes, always a classy move when you're being given free food. Another classy move is taking all the perishable food from your friend's refrigerator because she's going to "Barthalona" for nine days and she doesn't want it to spoil. Now I've got more humus than Zorba the Greek could eat.

Mostly it was just nice to sit and chat and be myself around a friend. The food was a great bonus but I was glad to get out of the house after spending the weekend in. Meanwhile I'm feeling under the weather. I hope it's not the hantavirus from that dead mouse. Don't want to miss work.

It's funny, I used to be the kid that cut school at the slightest sniffle. Sometimes I would act sick so I could stay home. But now I don't feel good about missing work for any reason. Strange. So I'm going to bed, I'd love to wake up early and have a cuppa while watching shitty network non-news. Seriously what IS "The Today Show"? And why does a crowd of idiots congregate there every morning. Those hicks need to get a nice bagel and walk Central Park, not gawk at Matt Lauer grabassing with Al Roker.

Breakdown before bedtime.

Balance: -$28.25

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$18.25

The Dark Times Have Ended

2007-07-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today I ended my fast and finished Harry Potter. Now I can eat what I like and unshield my eyes from all the Potter press. I can read without surprise the various clippings, watch all the coverage, and eavesdrop on every conversation, because I know what happens. Now I can begin to visualize the final movie, which should look something like Red Dawn crossed with Return of the Jedi, only with magic and wands. I'd watch that movie.

Last night I did as I said and bought some burgers and beer. It was very nice. Then this morning I started the day out with a big omelet, with cheese and salsa and jalapeños. I chased this with tea and honey. I feel like I'm leading the good life again.

Through various complex calculations, possible only through the magic of MS Excel I have determined I should get a second job. The Frugal goes into overdrive. Seriously, I spent the whole weekend doing nothing. As long as I'm on the Frugal tip might as well make some money with that time. Plus it could end this thing much quicker.

If you got any fabulous and legal ways to make an extra hundred dollars a week, clue me in.

Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$31.25

In: $10

Out:
Beer: $3
Wendy's: $4

Balance: -$28.25

The Last Day of the Food Stamp Challenge

2007-07-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

The last two days have been all about Harry Potter. I had a half day at work on Friday and I went home and have been reading off and on ever since. Last night I made more fried rice, finishing off the last of my 6 eggs and my onions too. Then I sat down with nice full glass of water of and watched "El Laberinto del Fauno" (you know it as Pan's Labyrinth, a misnomer considering I don't think they ever say Pan). Despite its high production value, it is just plain creepy. But perhaps it was true to its fairy tale roots, most actual fairy tales are pretty creepy. Try reading Grimm's originals some time and you'll know what I mean. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I liked it. It beats the shit out of "Legend" with Tom Cruise, which is the closest thing I can think to compare it to.

Today was sort of a ghost day, I made fried peanut butter sandwiches, which involves buttering your sandwich bread and frying them in a pan much like grilled cheese sandwiches. I also ate some more of fried rice. Didn't go anywhere, and didn't have much human contact beyond my parents calling and a bit of Google talk. I sort of drifted in and out of sleep. It's one of those days where you are surprised to learn that it's dark outside already.

As you know, my goal has been to spend no more than $10 dollars a day. I've plotted out my daily spending using Excel and if I taking out those shoes I bought during the wedding, my spending will average about $10.04 per day if I spend nothing until the end of the month. Not bad, but still shy of the goal. I won't be counting traveling expenses or dry cleaning in the future so I might actually be able to come with in my goal next time. The point is kind of moot though, because tonight at midnight, I'm going to buy food and beer and end this fast. Remember, if I've learned any thing it's that the poor should get at least a 33% increase in their weekly food budget. It just makes sense.

Shine on you crazy diamonds.

Breaking it down.

Starting Balance: -$51.25

In: $20 (2 days)

Out: $0

Balance: -$31.25

The Food Stamp Challenge: Day 5

2007-07-26T18:36:00.000-07:00

Today was a tough one. The red beans and rice I brought to work wasn't that good. I got sick of eating it, threw it out and began to starve about a half hour later. Frustrated with this false state of poverty I began to hallucinate that my pen was a candy cane, my keyboard a bumpy chicken leg, my post-it pad a nice yellow sugar cookie. At the close of the day, I dragged my growling stomach past the smells of midtown and tried not to bite into Harry Potter: Book 7 like a crazed billy goat. Though I've seen stranger things than a man eating his book on the subway.

Hunger is such a ridiculous state. I wish I was like Siddhartha and could just laugh it off, but I know that every time I chase hunger away it will soon reappear. It's the like a little goblin that haunts us all, just around the corner. And when you don't have the money to spend on food, which for the duration of the week I'm pretending not to, that goblin grows into an ogre, it gains size and ferocity. It lingers even after you've eaten, just in the hall you can hear hunger breathing. You wash your dishes and hear it laughing. As if Hunger can hear you wondering how you'll next chase him away.

The other problem is variety. It's easier to buy just rice and have fix'ns for that, than to try and buy rice, pasta, and bread. You find that such a small budget forces you to repeat a few dishes. Now if I had someone else in my family or on my program it may be a bit easier. With that $21 more per week I could by hamburger meat, tomato sauce and chocolate to make Skyline Chili. I could buy more vegetables, I might even be able to purchase some of that golden animal byproduct I've come to miss so much the past few days, CHEESE. So for food's sake the Food Stamp Program may help people stick together.

But basically, as is, $21 per week means, boredom, dissatisfaction, hunger, and a distinct feeling of frustration. And through this lens, the act of giving people just enough money to not starve seems like a cruel way to keep people fed while keeping them low at the same time. Though I suppose it is better than not giving them anything as they did before the New Deal 70 years ago, isn't it? Still, it's hard to have hope while you're hungry.

The thing is, I'm in the red. I want my first month to be a success. I want break even at the end of it and have some spending money come August 1, but that means stretching out my pantry until next Wednesday. I don't know if I can make that. And even if I do, I'll spend it all right away on more food. And any kind of fun is very far away. And this is month one of six. Well, no point in despairing. We'll see how it all goes. This has been a learning experience for me, for certain. I miss beer. I bought a friend a birthday card today, other than that, no spending. I promise this will be fun again.

The Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$58.75

In: $10

Out:
Card: $2.50

Balance: -$51.25

The Gotham Frugal and The Boy Wizard

2007-07-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I received the final installment of J.K. Rowling's tale about a boy who finds out he is a wizard at the age of eleven and then spends 7 years fighting some evil wizard who's ass he mysteriously kicked when he was just an infant. It's very popular. In fact everywhere I go in New York City, in the subway, in the park, on the street, I see people carrying this thick grey book with the yellow spine.

This is actually the first time I looked forward to a Harry Potter release. Previously I'd been a casual fan, reading the books as I got to them. Last winter when I was holed up in the crawlspace above my friend's refrigerator (a domicile not unlike the one-time residence of our bespectacled and scarred hero) I polished off the last two books in the series. I found them to be more fun than the previous 4. The movie is high on my list of things I must do, but the scratch ain't there.

One of the things I like about the reading the book the week of its release is that I everyone else is doing it. I doubt many would call me a conformist or the guy who hops on every band wagon that rolls past, but I have a strange sense of fraternity with the other 9 million people reading the book here in America as well as the other millions around the world. I probably wouldn't get along with but 1 out 100,000 of these folks but at least we can agree on this: That Harry Potter kid is pretty cool. I'll be glad when I'm done because then I won't have to dodge every piece of media that summarizes the events of the book.

Reading is fun and free, I pre-ordered the book so it won't make the breakdown. Tonight I ate more of my lamb stew, which is less impressive and expensive than it sounds, though delicious all the same, and I read book 7. This morning I picked up some dry cleaning which is expensive around here. $22.50. That will make the breakdown, though never again. It's going on the budget and will be a permanent part of my monthly spending.

The Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance: -$46.25

In: $10

Out:
Dry-Cleaning $22.50

Balance: -$58.75

The Food Stamp Challenge: Day 3

2007-07-24T19:57:00.001-07:00

For lunch today I finished off the fried rice I'd made on Sunday. I'm not really sure if you guys care what I eat, but this is a week about food and the lack thereof.

Tonight I cooked two meals. Red beans and rice for lunch tomorrow, and lamb stew for dinner. The stew was good. But dried beans aren't worth the savings they provide. I started soaking them this morning and had to boil them for an hour and half before they felt right. When this is over I'm sticking to canned beans.

Didn't spend today but I'm sure I will tomorrow.

Starting Balance: -$56.25

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$46.25

The Long Sunday, the Short Monday

2007-07-22T20:24:00.001-07:00

I woke up Sunday ready to buy groceries. I collected my materials for the week, a list and a fist full of plastic credit card and a shred of hope. After looking around the grocery store some and searching for deals, (like a buying a bag of potatoes was cheaper than buying by the pound), I got enough food to make about 6 dishes to keep me going throughout the week.

All told I spent $16.50 and later I bought some ketchup for $1.50, because condiments don't count. Now while I spent $16.50, I still have blown all my food stamp budget, because I had things like butter, garlic, and dried red beans at home. Those added up to about 3.50 leaving me a dollar to spend on bananas. Which I did this morning in the rain.

The first meal was egg-in-the-hole or hobo sandwiches, which doesn't necessarily feel appropriate given the nature of the experiment. Recipe is simple. Tear out a hole from a slice of Home Pride Wheat Bread, throw some butter in a pan, in goes the bread, crack an egg in the hole, fry both sides about 3 minutes and boom, egg in the hole. Feel free to add salt and pepper. It's idiotically simple but consistently satisfying. Go figure.

Lunch yesterday (and today) was fried rice. I spiced it up with curry and cayenne, I like a little heat. Then dinner last night, (and tonight) was potato pancakes. Which didn't turn out so hot. My recipe needs some work. I may try it again later in the week. I did go through 2/3rds of my egg supply in the first day. This morning I had a peanut butter sandwich for breakfast. No honey or jelly. Couldn't afford it. Sucks.

Now unfortunately I have to admit I'm a cheater. I've only being doing it two days and since I'm not a congressman, I'll tell you all the ways I cheated.
1) As I said, I bought some of the food before this week.
2) I finished off the guacamole from Saturday night. This shows a lack of discipline, true, but I don't expect the guac to last a week, didn't feel like freezing it, and letting food go to waste is worse than breaking a rule in this experience. I took the tasty stuff and some chips with me when I went to see Brazilian Girls at Summer Stage. There I shared it with a friend.
3) I had a beer last night. Doh. That one I feel genuinely bad about, but I'll make up for it by not having another all week.
4) I'm drinking the office coffee. I've realized lately that I don't feel right if I don't have coffee in the morning. Instant coffee didn't fit the budget, I lack a coffeemaker.

Looking around, I found a woman who did this project and did a really good job with it, her blog is called "What's in Rebecca's Pocket". Her budget was higher, and she's a vegetarian, that makes this whole thing much easier, oh and she was cooking for two, thrift in numbers, you know. Not to belittle it. She even was able to provide an alcoholic beverage for each dinner. And though that is a surprising, and I dare say, impressive treat, you can't buy booze with food stamps.

I also went out and bought some aluminum foil and cling wrap today. It was time.

Let's do the breakdown.

Sunday July 22

Starting Balance: -$54.75

In: $10

Out:
Groceries: $16.50
Ketchup: $1.50

Monday July 23

Starting balance: -$62.75

In: $10

Out:
Foil & cling wrap: $3.50

Balance: -$56.25

"They Got Money for Wars, But Can't Feed the Poor."

2007-07-21T13:44:00.000-07:00

I've decided that I'm going to start the "Congressional Food Stamp Challenge" a day earlier than planned. I figure starting on Sunday will give me time to prepare some dishes for the week. And next weekend I can celebrate by going to Katz Deli or something.

My ambition with this thing was to make it look easy. To impress everyone with my thrifty ways and let them marvel at how well I can stretch a dollar. But my naive arrogance has been obliterated by the oppressive truth. This is next to impossible. Not only is it impossible but I am sitting here faced with the kind of decisions that no one should have to make. Do I go with out meat or fruit this week? Do I buy cabbage for stew, or bananas for breakfast? No American should have to ponder these questions.

Let's take a look at some of the rules of the Congressional Food Stamp Challenge. First rule of note is you spend only $21 dollars on food all week. I'm going to blow all that from the get go. Buy in bulk, I say. Second rule is you can only eat food purchased for the week. No stocking up on tons of chips and salsa before the week begins. Looks tough, but there is a loop hole; I quote: "Do not eat food that you already own (this does not include spices and condiments)." Those three words in italics will be my saving grace and I plan on exploiting them. I have a ton of ways of making the dull into something more than. I can't decide if this applies to olive and corn oil though.

My culinary scruples aside, I want to say that this food stamp program makes no sense. It should be retitled the "The Just-Barely Starving Program." Look at these guidelines, paying particular attention to numbers 9 and 24. It's some eye popping stuff. In 2004 the average allotment was $86 per month. That's about $2.87 cents a day. And they spend about $2.1 billion a month on these programs. We spend $12 billion a month in our current wars. I'm no bleeding heart liberal, nor am I a universal pacifist, but can't we increase the allotment enough so people can buy some apples for their kids? 33% more and I could through in a bag of fresh fruit, some canned tomatoes and pasta.

Today I woke up with coffee and donuts and then I dropped a few bucks with a friend to make guacamole and wash it down with suds.

Alright y'all "Keep Ya Head Up."

Starting Balance: -$57.50

In: $10

Out:
Coffee and donuts: $3.25
Beer and avocados: $4

Balance -$54.75

His Dull Friday

2007-07-20T20:46:00.001-07:00

Not much happened today. Sorry. Saving is kind of boring. It just is.

I thought more about the Congressional Food Stamp Challenge and did some pricing. I'll be buying my goods at the local store. I was thinking about what I'd buy using the Fresh Direct site but they require $50 for delivery. So I took the list I made on their site to grocery store and found the grocery store was cheaper.

Woot.

Daily Breakdown:

Starting Balance: -$67.50

In: $10

Out: $0

Balance: -$57.50

A New Deal, Spread the Word

2007-07-19T18:50:00.001-07:00

Because my sanity is still intact, because my misery still has a few gaps that need filling, and because I am way down in the hole with this little project of mine, I have hatched a new brand of crazy for you all.

This is a little ditty I like to call "The Congressional Food Stamp Challenge." Back in May a few Congressman decided to "slum it" in a pretty literal sense by limiting their food budget for a week to $3 a day, the food stamp allowance. I am wincing as I write this. So, starting next Monday, July 23rd I will be attempting this startling feat. Please take a look at the rules. This looks brutal. But what I like about it is it solves my debt problem by bumping me $50 closer to the zero mark and it raises a little bit of awareness about the life of the poor. I'm going to have a poor week to get a rich conscience. I've been scanning some congressional blogs and I think I can do a little better than they do with this thing. Meaning, I won't be eating sliders from White Castle. So, people, it looks like I may just drop off the face of the planet as well as a few pounds.

I can only hope that my more liberal friends will help me celebrate my completion of this feat by introducing me to copious amounts of free booze. I'll plan this weekend and begin on Monday. Wish me luck.

I've been getting lots of good feedback on the blog, but I still want to increase my readership, so if it crosses your mind, mention the site to a friend. "But how will I bring it up in conversation?" you ask. Well, maybe this sample dialog will help you spread the word.

Them: "Man, did you see Bill Gates has like a zillion dollars?"
You: "I know! How much does a guy need? I know this one guy who is living on $10 a day, in New York of all places. He's got an awesome blog."

Them: "Man, did you see Nicole Richie was pregnant."
You: "I know! I shot milk out my nose reading Perez Hilton's comments about her. Funny though he is, this "Gotham Frugal" guy is way funnier. I shot a whole donut out my nose laughing at his blog."

Them: "Man have you seen my keys? I'm so wasted."
You: "I know! I'm wasted too. Man, The Gotham Frugal rocks."

My blog has come to the attention of Google, meaning if you google "Gotham Frugal" it will show up. The same is true for "frugal gotham." Thanks for spreading the word, and thanks for reading.

Bra-bra-bra-BREAKDOWN

Starting Balance: -$73.25

In: $10

Out:
Shampoo: $4.25

Balance: -$67.50

Steam Punked!

2007-07-18T20:07:00.001-07:00

Today, just about 10 minutes after I boarded an uptown 6 train at Grand Central, or 42nd and Lexington Avenue, a steam pipe exploded at 41st and Lexington. Unfortunately, one person died from a heart attack and others were injured. The commute tomorrow will be complicated by this recent explosion.

Meanwhile, I was moving some boxes around tonight and one was magically hiding a dead mouse/rat. It was either a smallish rat, or a largish mouse. Regardless it provided an answer to an important question, "What in God's name is that smell?" Some paper towels and a lot of rubbing alcohol later, I performed a roadside burial for my guest. It had its own white trash bag full of garbage to take with it to the afterlife. Give my regards to whatever rodent Charon ferries you across Rat River, little friend. Drink deep from your mousy Lethe and thanks for the smell. Now I just have to wait a few weeks to see if my guest gave me the hantavirus as well.

I got a lot done after work today. Bought comics, washed laundry, worked out, cleaned bathtub, cooked dinner, washed dishes, disposed of dead rat and I packed a box for shipping stuff to my parents home. As far as money goes, I may have figured out a fun way to reduce my Chicago debt by doing my own version of the Food Stamp Challenge, which I'll discuss later. The majority of my charges today were groceries and laundry. Let's do this....

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting Balance: -$74.25

In: $10

Out:
Yogurt & Apricots: $3.50
Laundry: $3.50
Latex gloves: $2

Balance: -$73.25

Oh and the photos are courtesy of Mario Tama/Getty Images
and Lynda Churilla/Associated Press.

Reclining on a blanket in Central Park, New York City, New York.

2007-07-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

Over my head, I see the bronze fireworks
alive in the night sky,
bursting like the golden crescendo
of the horns against high rises.
The wine bottles follow one another
into the distances of empty.
To my right
the Philharmonic from a speaker stack.
The intermissions are full of silence
and the actual concert sounds like
the intermission.
I lean back, as the evening darkens and comes on.
A red-tailed hawk plucks pigeons from the sky.
I have wasted my life.

Got invited to Central Park for a picnic and the Philharmonic. Couldn't come empty handed so I had to buy Duane Reade Dorritos and Pringles. But what's this in my wallet? $5 off Duane Reade coupon. Good saving. But then I bought a beer.

DAILY BREAKDOWN,

Start Balance: -$76.50

In: $10

Out:
Soap: $1.25
Chips: $1.50
Beer at the park, plus tip: $5

Balance: -$74.25

This post was stolen from poet James Wright. Check him out.

Hints and Ruminations

2007-07-16T21:22:00.000-07:00

Some of you have been kind enough to offer a few suggestions to help me alleviate my massive debt. Some of the suggestions were having a stoop sale, going pro and finding a rich benefactor, making concessions for big expenses, hustling for the cash or setting aside a wardrobe budget in case I might have another shoe emergency. This wasn't such an emergency after all because there happened to be a Payless 3 blocks from my house and they seemed to have something of a "no questions asked" policy.

Though these expenses have got me thinking about adding to my budget. How detailed should your budget be? I estimate what my bills will be when putting together a budget. I know Netflix is going to be a certain amount and I tend to spend a few dollars on comic books every month. I justify my entertainment expenses as they make it a bit easier not to wander outside and spend more money. But should I be budgeting for clothes? Should I be setting money aside for monthly haircuts? Should I add laundry costs to my budget? That all seems so formal. And though none of these things cost me any thing above $20 a week. Except the haircuts. (I've been told to check out bbmodelproject.com where you can sign up for a free haircut. Keep in mind you have no control there.) Anyway, the point is, I have a budget but I like to keep it loose. Money for all that other stuff can come out of whatever is left after the bills are paid. Though keeping it loose may be costing me. Even it does, it may be worth it to my mental state not to nickel and dime myself to death.

Today I did nothing. It was wonderful. Woke up, got some coffee and spent the morning reading. That was great. I hopped on Photoshop and reworked my banner for the blog. I returned the shoes and then had to buy some more groceries so I can live. And I went to the gym. Is that doing nothing?

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting Balance: -$117.50

In: $10
Shoes: $43.50

Out:
Coffee and donuts. $3.25
Groceries: $9.25

Ending Balance: -$76.50

Gotham to Gotham

2007-07-15T12:30:00.000-07:00

Well folks, I haven't posted at all the past few days because I've been on the road. I traveled to Chicago because two good friends of mine got married. I was there to pay witness to their act of unity. It's a pretty intense thing, marriage.

Anyway, this is the Gotham Frugal and not the Frugal Traveler, so I don't really save any money when I travel. In fact I blew way over my daily budget before 10 AM on Friday. The flight is part of the starting card balance. Which I made my first payment on, hooray. And I managed to stay with friends the first night so I didn't have to pay for lodging.

I'll just give a list of my expenses and let them tell the story.

DAY 1
Breakfast $6
Airport Shuttle $15
2-Day Chicago Metro Pass (used once) $9
Dinner $20
Bar $10

Don't know how I got away with spending that little at a bar, but I did 'morning after math,' which means that you look in your wallet to see how much you spent. This was the number I came up with.

DAY 2
Coffee $3
Breakfast $8
Hotel $25 (I still owe for this, but we split the room 6 ways. Slumber party!)
Shoes $43.50

I left my shoes at my friend's place so I went out and bought a pair at Payless, so I'd look OK at the wedding. I'm going to try and return them tomorrow. If it works out that'll go in the "In" number. The wedding was great and I had five too many Red Bulls and Vodkas. Ah, Temperance where for art thou?

DAY 3
McDonalds $3.25 (I know, I know. A shameful and craven act to put such garbage in the temple that is my body, but I'm calling this a utility stop.)
Shuttle from Midway to O'Hare $15
Airport WiFi $7
Bottled water: $1.50
Airtrain $5
Wendy's $2.50 (Twice in a day, sigh)
Beer $1

So on to the BREAKDOWN:

Starting Balance $28.25

IN: $30 (3 days)

OUT: $175.75

Ending Balance: -$117.50

After I return the shoes it should be closer to $70 in the red. Hmm. This is quite a setback. One I'll have to carefully consider. Do I claim amnesty on behalf of leaving NYC? Do hit the reset button and start again? Or do I gradually work to get this new negative under control? I think it will be the last one for a little bit. Let's see if I crack under the pressure.

A Unicorn On Rollerskates Powered By Puppy Kisses

2007-07-12T19:14:00.000-07:00

If irony were a river that ran through out the world I'm pretty sure you could trace the source back to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Everyday at the crack of noon, millions of hipsters peel themselves off the floor of their $800/month apartment, throw a greasy hand through perfectly clean hair, pull on a 20 year old t-shirt that cost$3 when it was made and cost them $80 out of their trust fund and schlep down to a coffee shop to bitch in a tone that mocks but never smiles about how they're roughing it. And today I canceled a date with a friend to head into this wilderness of cool to see one of my favorite comedians, Patton Oswald.

Patton was making a free appearance at "Sound Fix" one of those record stores I mentioned in yesterday's blog. I got their about 2 hours early, hoping to get a good seat. That was a bit too early leaving me to nurse a coffee for around 2 hours. Well, the place filled with smelly hipsters who fetched PBRs and talked about the newest Interpol album. Eventually Patton showed up and stood on a chair sipping 12 year Macallan and regaling us with his drunken adventures watching Jerry Maguire . I ordered a PBR myself so I could drink with Patton and he was hilarious, for about 20 minutes and then he went to sign a bunch of albums. Poor me, I had though he'd be performing for 3 hours but he sounded tired from all the press junkets promoting his new animated rat movie Ratatouille, which I do want to see, along with the boy wizard.

On the way out of the record store I saw a woman who I was standing next to at the Spoon concert last night. I didn't make much of her then, but on second glance she was actually pretty cute. So I asked her, "Weren't you at the Spoon concert last night?"
She said "Yeah"
I said "Did you come for this guy?"
she said "Yeah, and this." holding up the new Spoon album.
I said "Nice, nice." and then walked off, just...like... a...moron! I had a perfect intro. "You've got good taste." Which implies of course. "I've got good taste too." But I walked on down the block, kicking myself the whole way.

So before I went back to Manhattan, I took a walk to lay eyes on a joint called Anytime, which has $1 drinks, just for future reference. Then I talked myself into going back to the record store to see what happens, hoping maybe she was talking to Patton or something. Of course, she was long gone. But Patton was still there, signing albums and taking pictures. Now, as you may have guessed from my interaction with Dominic Chianese, I detest fawning. I think fans behave miserably, and it's an embarrassment to try and make personal connections with people you've only seen on TV. But I figured while I'm here I might as well get his new CD and thank him for making me laugh.

Well, the CDs were sold out. So I thought OK, I'll shake his hand and say goodbye. But as I stood in line empty handed, still feeling like a big social klutz for flubbing my chances with that woman, I saw someone taking picture after picture of Oswald, I saw Oswald's smile become a grimace in the red pre-flash glare, and I thought "I'll spare him one more jerkoff to deal with," and then I went home.

After this day of mild disappointment, I decided to recover a bit by ordering some steamed dumplings, and a grabbed a beer from the bodega.

DAILY BREAKDOWN

Balance: $29

IN: $10Publish Post

OUT:
Coffee: $2
Pabst Blue Ribbon: $3
Chinese Dumplings: $3.75
Beer: $1
Paper Towels: $1

Balance: $28.25

Spoon Fed For Free

2007-07-11T19:15:00.001-07:00

Today I woke and packed food. Lots of food. I packed up some of that lentil/barley soup I made on Monday night (here's the recipe, (sub barley for bulgur)), I packed up some oranges, threw in some golden raisins, and made two peanut butter and honey sandwiches. No, I wasn't going camping, but 'Spoon'ing rather. And as my pal Gen has informed me, spooning leads to forking.

Tonight in Rockefella' Park, the Austin indie band Spoon was playing outside for free. I've wanted to see them live every since a pal of mine came back from a Guided by Voices concert raving about this opening act. If you haven't heard them, then skip down to your local "cooler- than-thou" indie record store and ask for them. It might even earn you a tight lipped nod from the wildly pierced and tattooed faces behind the counter.

Right after work I took my foodstuffs downtown to watch the show. But the skies had other things in mind for me and Spoon. Clouds were dumping gallons of rain down on the waiting. I stood out in the rain under my umbrella for a little while until I decided being under an open field near water and trees was not the best idea during a lightening storm. So I found shelter in a parking garage until the rain let up. As soon as it got less biblical, I went back to the concert grounds and waited. I stood inside a forest of umbrellas while the rain got less and less and finally stopped. A woman appeared and announced it would be at least a half an hour until the stage was dry enough for the band to play with out fear of electrocution. Then, to wild cheering, they started removing the tarps covering all the equipment.

Until it started to rain again. I started to lose hope. But I munched on raisins and met a few new friends. Sharing is good. Then the rain stopped and stayed stopped. They decided to skip the opening act and Spoon came out and rocked the park. It was great and even better because I didn't have to pay for it, and I felt a camaraderie with the packed park as we had all stuck it out together. Wet, miserable and rocking. Even when it started to sprinkle and a guy who looked like Ben Gibbard's dad would come out between songs, arms crossed, and sternly speak with Spoon's lead singer Britt Daniel, the band continued to play. Electricity be damned. Eventually the forces that be won and Britt informed us "They're telling us to get off the stage." They finished and waved and our encore calls weren't heard. Still aside from "The Way We Get By" I heard everything I wanted to. It was wet, it was loud, it was Spoon.

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

The only thing I spent today was a few fun hours in the park.

Starting Balance: $19

IN: $10

OUT: $0

Balance: $29

Beat to the Punch, Dodging the Cut, and Meeting the Man

2007-07-10T18:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I've never claimed to be much of a genius. Sure, I've had the occasional flash of brilliance, but Issac Newton I'm not. And to prove that I'd like to share this article from the New York Magazine. It appears the author, Jardine had the idea long before me. But read the article and you will see that Jardine lacks vision. Jardine tried it for only a week. Jardine cannot make important sacrifices, like giving up cigarettes. Jardine believes that $8 meatballs are a find. Jardine resorts to begging, she resorts to borrowing, and Jardine, when all this fails, resorts to Craigslist in order to get a meal. With a smile of pure schadenfreude I'd like to report that Jardine got stood up at said Craigslist date.

At the end of her frugal week, Jardine even has a nice little pile of trash to show us which she's artfully arranged. You may feel I'm being hard on Jardine, but I disagree. You see ladies and gentlemen, Jardine is a tourist. And, as is appropriate for all tourists, we should scorn Jardine, or at the very least we should pity her for her insurmountable dullness. The Gotham Frugal is in it for the long haul. This is no fantasy getaway. And to my Hawaiian friend, Kori, who shared this great article with me: "Mahalo, Mahalo nui loa."

This morning I stopped by the grocery store to buy yogurt and I caught my reflection in the store window. It was then that I decided to get a haircut, and being on the low rent tip I went to Supercuts after work. Before going I even printed out a $2 off coupon. When I got to the Supercuts location, I approached the counter, and was told by the fat, smug, gay man "You can have a seat on that bench." I thought 'Oh, can I? Will you allow me the honor of placing my tuckus on this fine cube of plywood and pleather? How privileged I feel." I sat for a moment and watched a young lady hack at man's head with the basest of styling tools, the clippers. I can't tell you how many haircuts have taken a sour turn once the barber turned on that buzz saw of death, and on the way over I prepared myself for telling some underpaid, under trained hair tech how I won't allow them to use their favorite tool. I watched as the man who 'sat' me plunged a straw into his Starbucks frappuccino and began to rehearse my instructions, then I spied the price chart. It was $22, where I expected something closer to $12. Then and there I decided that I'm just going to have to let my locks hang during the wedding, come what may.

I decided to walk the 30 or so blocks home keeping an eye out for a bus I could catch. It was hot, it was East Harlem, and I didn't know the area that well. Plus I always seemed to be a few blocks ahead or behind the limited stop bus that could deliver me to my door. But then, after walking almost all the distance, a little less than a block away from my apartment I saw a familiar looking man step out of a cab. It was, to my delight, none other than Dominic Chianese, better known as Junior Soprano, no doubt headed to the nearby, ultra-exclusive, Italian restaurant Rao's. Our paths crossed and I gave him a casual "Love the show." It didn't quite register, I think he was trying to get his bearings having emerged from the cab, as I got a sort of nod. But then it must've hit him, he'd been payed a compliment. I crossed the street he looked back and gave me a very un-Junior like smile, but warm all the same. The best things in life just may be free.

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting balance: $11.25

IN: $10

OUT:
Yogurt: $2.25

Balance: $19

Free Furniture, No Interest, and Sangria Times

2007-07-09T21:46:00.001-07:00

Well, it's a little past check in time and I've been at a bar, drinking. "How?" you may ask, well generous friends who happen to know generous bartenders is one asset I have acquired in my short time in the city.

Today I wanted to explain a bit about my credit card bill. You know, the one I'm trying to pay off. You see, I don't pay any interest on the current card. This is because credit cards often run promotional rates that are nil for the first twelve months. Almost all banks in the credit card business do this. They offer you an easy year, expecting you to go hog wild and leave them with a heap of owed money that they can then rape you with using interest. But banks are egotistical enough to believe that there is no competition. To prove my point, I have on at least two occasions, called my previous credit card company and asked them to drop my interest rates to zero. My thought process was, "Hey, I've been with you for years, I'm just asking for a twelve month suspension of interest charges. Every time I log on to your account, you're offering every johnny-come-lately a no-interest special. I've been with you for years, why not offer the same deal to a friend rather than a stranger?" I've tried this tactic a few times, the most I ever got was a few points reduced on my over all interest rate, which may help you if you don't feel like switching cards. Keep in mind that switching cards can affect the quality of your credit rating, an important number when you want to take out loans or buy a car. Needless to say, I've transfered my balance to a bank offering no interest for 12 months, and, much to their chagrin, I plan on paying it off on time. If you have some spare time, I highly recommend wrestling with your credit card company over the same issue. Explain to them that you could easily switch over to a no interest account and that they should give you the same deal or lose a client. It doesn't work well at all. But it's fun to listen to phone clones stutter.

Today I had the most marvelous piece of luck. I went to my super to ask if she had a vacuum cleaner I could borrow. The answer was, as always, long, complicated, and totally my fault. In this case the problem was that I didn't ask four days ago. Apparently there was a brand new vacuum cleaner available because a tenant recently vacated their apartment and left nearly everything behind. I was led upstairs to an almost fully furnished room and told that I could have what ever was there. By simply inquiring, I managed to snag a book shelf, a coffee table, and an entertainment center. My apartment is beginning to look practically respectable. Lamenting my loss of the vacuum cleaner the landlady said, "I put it out on the sidewalk and a half an hour later, that shit was gone," The last word was accompanied by a dramatic spreading of the narrator's arms. You'd think that vacuum cleaner was gold, the way she fussed. I love my super. How many New Yorkers can say that?

After installing the new furniture and cooking a lentil/barley soup, (for which I had to buy a $2 bag of onions) I got a call from a friend urging me to come down to Union Square. Fortunately, she understands that I am now THE Gotham Frugal and offered to buy, so I got down there to get fairly buzzed off of some strong sangria.

Eventually I made it home, desperate as always to bring you...

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting balance $3.25

IN : $10

OUT:
Onions: $2

Ending balance $11.25

Tossing Salad on Governor's Island

2007-07-08T20:08:00.001-07:00

Today I set off alone for Governor's Island. A small patch of land south of Manhattan. This place was once used as a munitions depot for the US Army. Now it looks like a deserted antebellum neighborhood. It's a bit weird. And even weirder today as it was host to "Figment." Try saying it with all the artsy pretense you can muster, "Figment!" That was fun, huh? And you get a sense of what goes on at such an event. It was a sort of free form festival with events like drum circles, art instillations, medieval weapons booth and, notably, women painted in gold and silver running around half naked. I was told it was very similar to "Burning Man," only this was less.

It was one of those events full of people who make it difficult for me not to judge them. I was aware, almost immediately, of what a square I am. The women in superhero outfits were a clear indication that this wasn't so much my gig. Looking over the roster of events, I skipped the group building games, and getting my picture taken in a bath tub and decided that it would be the nature walk for me: Mr. Excitement.

After walking around looking for a sign that said, "Nature Walk" I asked the booth and found that it would be conducted by a man in a red cowboy hat. Without him in sight I took a rest and waited. Then a strange music filled the air and women in long skirts and very short shirts began to dance. It was a group of belly dancers. I'm a sucker for skilled hips and here were four sets of them. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with at least one of them. After this closed I spotted a group of people around a man wearing a red cowboy hat. It turns out that this particular nature hike featured edible plants. Which is great for the Gotham Frugal, because now I can wander into a vacant lot and walk out with a salad. The guide also was happy to point out those plants around us that had psychoactive properties. Who knew you could get high from actual weeds? The walk concluded with us eating a salad made from the various plants we encountered, topped with some tasty homemade walnut mustard vinaigrette of the guide's own preparation. My favorite edible plant was the daylily, which had a very buttery taste to it and was bright orange, breaking up the green of the salad.

Afterwards I bought a $2 12 ounce can of coke and felt like an ass for doing so. This was from a street cart, one of two on the Island. That's the power of supply and demand peoples. Back in the Barrio I did my own laundry for the first time in 4 or 5 months. I'm so used to just handing the people my bag and walking away. The laundry mat is so close I was able to cook some grub for the week while doing the laundry.

Not a bad Sunday, and for the first time since this experiment began, I have a positive balance. So on to the ....

Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance -$0.25

IN: $10

OUT:
Coke: $2
Laundry: $4.50

Balance: $3.25

Trains, Trance, and Toilet Paper

2007-07-07T19:56:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting down with some tuna mac and leftover Charles Shaw as I write tonight's entry. The big charges of the day came from needing laundry detergent, coffee and toilet paper, which my passed out friend informed me I was out of, once she woke up.

Decent morning. Made a jalapeño, onion, cheddar omelette for breakfast. Racked up some stars on Guitar Hero, and went to workout. Then I packed up some leftover pasta from last night, an orange and water and headed out to Summer Stage in Central Park, probably my favorite free place in the universe.

There I saw Cinematic Orchestra, an acid jazz band. They weren't much to dance to, though that didn't stop this kid. Mostly all you could do is stand there and do what I like to call the 'Trey sway.' If you've been to Phish concert, you understand. Speaking of Phish, I noticed these two splitting beers and was slightly jealous, but beer at concerts is actually kinda tyrannical. It takes time and stress and lines and being overcharged to get them. Today my budgetary limits taught me that there is a relaxing freedom to just saying "No." I got to lay there, close my eyes and enjoy the music, smell the ganga in the air, and let my mind go. If I was in a spending frame of mind it would be a constant eyeballing of the beer cup and wondering when I was headed back to the beer line and spending the beer money.

It was nice to lie out in the sun, and I'm also almost entirely sure that I sat about 6 feet away from Ben Curtis who you all will recognize as the Dell Dude. Also, sitting nearby was Max the Intern, a kid from work. His brother, Sam the Intern showed up later. One odd thing about this town is that, even though I'm new, every couple of weeks I just run into someone I know. It seems improbable in a city of 8 plus million, but it happens all the time.

After the concert ended and I said goodbye to my friend I headed towards Brooklyn. It being the first Saturday of the month means free happenings at the Brooklyn Museum. But today I was reminded how terrifically the subway can ruin your plans. They always run squirrelly on the weekends due to construction. I assume the impetus being that it will be less disruptive to people to do construction on your off time rather than going all nutty during the week. But since most New Yorkers blame any tardiness on the subways running funny, I think MTA should do their business during the week and let us have the trains running properly on our time and not the man's. Needless to say, I couldn't take the 4 or 5 directly to the Brooklyn Museum, so after a missed stop and a wrong exit and a $1 bottle of water, I decided the Brooklyn Museum could wait till next month. I headed home for Chuck and Tuna Mac.

Now for the numbers.

Starting balance -$3.50

In: $10

Out: Detergent: $3:25
Coffee: $1:50
Toilet Paper: $1
Water: $1

Balance: -$0.25

I'll Make the Pasta, You Bring the Wine

2007-07-06T20:58:00.000-07:00

This is a cheap way to get a buzz on. And pasta isn't all that expensive. So tonight my friend wanted to come over and eat and watch a movie. I said I'll make the pasta you bring the wine. But it's way to hot tonight to do anything but hang out by the AC and listen to music. So she's well fed and drunk on my couch. Still the ingredients cost me $7.50. But she brought over 3 bottles of three-buck chuck so it cost her about the same.

Viva New York, peoples.

DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting Balance: -$6.00

In: $10

Out: $7.50

Balance -$3.50

And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last.

The Siren Call of the Grocery Store

2007-07-05T20:30:00.001-07:00

Last night after my bitch fest I went to a friend's house for a 4th party. I got to watch fireworks from a Manhattan roof. My first time. A nice way to ring in the 231st birthday of our nation. I split cab fare home, so that cost me $5. But it was worth it. The subway can be a drag. And no doubt the 6 would be teaming with sleepy eyed parents and their cranky progeny. When I got out of the cab there were lots of loud bangs in my neighborhood. In East Harlem, you rarely think of fireworks first. But that's what it was. They were shooting rockets off in the middle of East 115th St which was great. The whole block was covered in red and green light to the delight of los ninos. Man, I love El Barrio.

Meanwhile, tie me to the center poll of the bus and let me gaze longingly on the weekly specials, for the Associated Supermarket serenades me and my will is weak. As I mentioned in my whiny fit yesterday, it is the dwindling groceries that make this man feel poor. Like an stranded islander counting out his rations, my hope shrinks with my foodstuffs.

So alas I ventured into the grocery store to make some purchase. Sausages were on special, a pound for $2 and I've got a recipe from Giada that's so good you'd think I watch the show for the food. So I picked the ingredients up for that and got a bag of oranges to snack on. In the meantime I whipped up the delicious southern delicacy of salmon croquettes ala Paula Dean, 'with just uh pat o' buhtuh.' You can trust Paula Dean. Just look at her; you know that woman can cook. Keep this in mind people, never trust a skinny cook. Except me. You can trust me.

Needless to say, I'm going to cook big this weekend and have a plethora of eats for the coming week. I won't be skinny for long.

So here's a two day break down because I skipped yesterday.

STARTING BALANCE: -$6.50

IN $20

OUT
Cab fare: $5
Groceries: $14.50

BALANCE: -$6.00

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...

2007-07-04T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well, this is turning out to be much harder than anticipated. $10 a day has turned out to mean staying inside and not doing anything. Also worrying about food. Watching the chicken dwindle in the fridge, the Hangandaz disappear and spending a lot of time sober.

Meanwhile it's the day of our nation's Independence and I am legally bound to celebrate. I need to get out of the house and go see the fireworks or go to a bar. That means "Goodbye, money." I'm acting the cheapskate at the moment, which I'm planning on this moment lasting 6 months, but in real life I'm not that cheap. I tip well, I eat well, and I like to buy for my dates when I'm with one. But you can't treat your date on today's balance of $3.50. Unless she adores Raman.

Then next week I've got a wedding coming up in another town which means buying food elsewhere. I need a haircut which I typically pay $40 for, and I'd like to get someone to polish my shoes. So I guess the answers here are a) pack a lunch or eat cheap, b) go to Supercuts, and c) polish my own damn shoes.

Someone please sing the theme song of Good Times for me. Balance to come.

The Third of July

2007-07-03T20:28:00.000-07:00

Somewhere out in America tonight, people are setting off fireworks. You know what?
They're a day early.

Not much happened today. Again the packed breakfast/lunch combo saved me from spending anything. That's what makes me cool.

Starting Balance: $-16.50

IN: $10

OUT: 0

Balance: $-6.50

Horray tomorrow I can spend $3.50. How will I?

Your Bank Hates You...Fire Them

2007-07-02T17:21:00.000-07:00

As wise man fond of cliches once remarked, "A penny saved is a penny earned." I'd like to think he was referring to the fact that looking for bargains and not giving into the temptation to spend signified an effort that could in effect double your money. But it was hard to tell seeing as how he immediately followed with, "An apple a day keeps the crabs away." Wise though he was, the old man often confused things. As far as the former statement goes he could also be referring to a saving man's good friend, Interest.

It's nice that banks pay you to hold on to your money, very kind of them. Of course some also charge you to take your money or move your money around; think checking costs, transfer fees, and those roguish ATM charges. And when you're dealing with one of those brick and mortar, Greek column, bedrock facilities of finance (which often fold like a deck of cards) you should know that you're not getting paid enough. Today I looked at two such institutions to see what they were offering in way of interest for saving accounts. If you're a small fish you might get .2%, if you can afford to leave $25,000 rotting in a savings account, then they hop you up to .45%, almost half a percentage point, which will yield you a whopping $112 dollars at the end of the year, and they said the first the million is the hardest. Of course there are CDs but they require large opening balances and you can't touch your money for 8 months, or whatever.

Well ING is here to save us from the tyranny of our banks. They ask for no minimum balance and offer ten times the other banks' high-roller's rate. And they extend a similar deal even to checking. It's a no brainer. Of course you have to be comfortable with the internet and trust that some cyberpunk won't run off with your funds, but even if such a feat is pulled off, we've got the FDIC to swoop in and bail us out. So barring nuclear annihilation, your money is safe, and safely earning interest. Lots of interest. I opened one less than two weeks ago and have already gotten $1.13. Woo hoo! Bubble gum's on me boys!

I looked into how they make their money. It basically boils down to the fact that you can't play with it right away. They loan your money out and charge someone else twice the interest. They also have a much loved mortgage racket. Added to the fact that they don't have any brick and mortar overhead and you reap the benefits.

So I say dump your big market bank and get with the new wave kids.

Packed breakfast and lunch today. And I used my old bank to turn rolled change into cash. But that won't count towards my bank roll. So on to...

The Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance: $-26.50

IN: $10

OUT: $0

BALANCE: $-16.50

Like Water for Shakespeare

2007-07-01T18:53:00.001-07:00

My big plan for today was to feature how attending Shakespeare in the Park is a fun way to do something culturally significant without paying a dime. Apparently some others had this idea much sooner than I did, as they were lined up sometime after dusk last night for the gratis tickets. By the nine in the morning none were available.

Free clearly ain't free. Not in this city. In fact, I think one could make a pretty good living waiting in line. Wait in line for Beastie Boys playing at McCarran pool, wait in line for an iphone, wait in line for Shakespeare in the Park and mark everything up. If you can manage boredom and weather well, this is the job for you.

Truthfully though, this particular Shakespeare in the Park featured Romeo and Juliet as played in a pool of water and I wasn't into it. I don't know what a shallow pool of water has to do with an overrated play. I never thought two teenagers killing themselves over their mutual infatuation was all that sexy. My favorite part of the play is the fact that they know. They meet and their love is a sure thing. They think they can stop looking. That I like. But 'that' is bullshit. Those of us that have had those relationships know how long they last. And if it wasn't for a missed message, well, Juliet would be easily forgettable. Nor would the name Romeo carry the charming association that it does today.

I did get to go to the gym and workout today. I work out at one of the city gyms. It sounds rough and it is, but for $25 you get six months of membership. It's no Clay, but the dumbbells weight the same.

Meanwhile, Fresh Direct showed around four and I tipped the enthusiastically introductory gentleman $2. Then it was on to cooking. Remind me to buy pre-cut mangos in the future.

The Breakdown
Start Balance: $-34.50

In: $10

Out: Tip to the Fresh Direct Dude: $2

Balance: $-26.50

Fresh Direct and the Great Experiment

2007-06-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

This is the first post. The Rules should explain everything. If you have questions, ask. If you have advice, share.

On to the blog.

One of my greatest challenges in these coming months will be feeding myself enough that I don't begin to look like Jeremy Davies in Rescue Dawn. Thus the need for groceries. Recently in the mail I received a coupon from Fresh Direct for $50 worth of groceries, a god send for a man with my mission.

Fresh Direct is a respectable outfit. When I was living in the crawl space above my friend's refrigerator last fall she would often task me with waiting around for the Fresh Direct people. Seeing as how I often got to nosh on her dime, I was up for the challenge. But there are a few problems with Fresh Direct. It takes a lot of planning, it's not very fun, and the value is questionable. I like wandering the aisles seeing what jumps out at me, Fresh Direct robs me of this pleasure. But it was convenient for my former roommate, she got to avoid the PathMark on 125th and Lex (aka Hell on Earth), and she could skip the hauling her goods through the panhandling gauntlet that was the walk home. But for me it's not so convenient.

Sure Fresh Direct has lots of stuff for sale and the food is pretty good, but you have to sit down and think what you want and how much you want to spend. I live down the street from a grocery store, one that happens to be in the Spanish Harlem, or El Barrio, as we will refer to it hence. This means cheap goods. The selection is very Latino centric, which actually is something I'm fine with. But they don't have everything. And I would've gone there to shop anyway if it wasn't for this promotional coupon burning a hole in my pocket.

I had planned out my menu for the week anyway. The signature dish of the week is Mambo Chicken with Mango Salsa. I've made this dish twice before and it's fantastic. One batch can yield four meals for a single, skinny guy like myself. Add some rice and it's enough to make a man chunky. So I ordered the ingredients for that along with some bread for PB&Honey sandwiches as well as some nacho fixins like guacamole and chips.

Part of my problem with Fresh Direct is you have to order $50 worth of food to get a delivery out of them and they charge $5 for the convenience of waiting around for their delivery drivers to show up in the 2 hour time slot you picked. These requirements aren't cool for me seeing as how the price means I'd have to go 5 days with out so much as buying a hot dog. But with the coupon my total was a quarter shy of $32. I figure after the delivery charge and tip, and the lack of discounts on their prices I got about $15 of free groceries today. But I won't get them until Sunday and I have to eat today.

I recently made a chicken cutlet sandwich and liked it. And since I've got a block of pepper jack cheese in my fridge threatening to go moldy on me, I decided I'd make a panini that combined the two. I went to the grocery store down the street, picked up 3 wheat rolls for $1, a small pack of cutlets, a lime and a tomato; all together it was $5. I marinated the cutlets for a few hours with olive oil, lime juice, chopped garlic, chili powder, salt and black pepper. Then I used a cast iron stove-top grill to cook the chicken. Stuck the tomato, jack cheese, onion, and chicken in the whole wheat rolls, stuck those in the press, and presto, Chicken Pepper Jack Paninis.

I have to add that I had a street tamale (so good) with eggs for breakfast. Tamales are uno viente cinco. I also spent $7.50 on beer tonight. Not on bread alone, right? So all totaled I spent $44.50 on food and beer today. Tomorrow will be a lazy Sunday, so no spending will be breeze. It's the coming week that will hurt.

The breakdown:
Starting Balance: $0

In
Money: $10

Out
Fresh Direct: $31.75
Chicken Cutlet Sandwiches: $5
Beer: $7.50
Tamale: $1.25

Balance: -$34.50