Retirement Day: 43 years, and a day away.

Today at work I met my retirement fund manager. I gave him the blog address, so if he's reading this, "Welcome."

My dad is a stock broker. Having a stock broker for a father means you get to drive to school every day with a financial adviser. When you're twelve, you could care less. All you're thinking about is going with Ben Kenobi to join the rebellion and learn the ways of the force. Jedis don't need 403B's, they have light sabers. And with Nintendo putting out all those great games every month, saving was very far from my mind. But one day you begin to associate the dollar with a certain amount of freedom. And then you realize you don't want to work forever. And then all those early morning lectures about saving and managing your retirement sort of resolve in your memory and you find yourself contemplating a force more powerful than the Death Star, compound interest.

The "Pension Guy," as some titled him, showed us one of my favorite financial magic tricks. Let's say you had two investors. The first investor is a tightwad like myself who spent his youth socking away $2000 a year from the age of 20 t0 30, then decides that's enough. The second investor, the guy I'd like to be, is a crazy spendthrift who tosses dollars around until his days of wild living catch up with him and he sobers up and patiently invests $2000 dollars a year from 30 to 50. Investor 1 has invested $20,000, Investor 2 has invested $40,000. If they both started investing at the same time, after 30 years of interest who would have more money? Investor 1, with only half the investment. That's pretty cool.

So you youngens need to buy the cheaper tequila and buy up those Roth IRAs. And if you come across some windfall, like a bag full of money, or a banking error in your favor, buy a good bottle of bourbon and with the rest buy mutual funds and forget it ever happened. Because you'll be able to make the rent this month just like you did last month, by rolling change and doing choirs for mom. But your chance to get rich slow will have passed you by.

Today I was lazy and had the laundry mat wash my clothes. I also got a hair cut which almost makes this month a wash. However, because I have to present tomorrow for some of our funders at work I had to get a trim. People at work don't care if I'm all over the place. But I can't be shaggy in front of the checkbooks. That being said, much like the dry cleaners, the hair cut will go down as a business

Yesterday I was good. Good and bored. I turned down tempting offers to go out and play-ye-yay. I sat at home eating some homemade Skyline chili and watching reruns.

2 Day Breakdown

Starting Balance -$140.50

In: $20

Out:
Laundry: $9

Balance: -$129.50

Your Bank Hates You...Fire Them

As wise man fond of cliches once remarked, "A penny saved is a penny earned." I'd like to think he was referring to the fact that looking for bargains and not giving into the temptation to spend signified an effort that could in effect double your money. But it was hard to tell seeing as how he immediately followed with, "An apple a day keeps the crabs away." Wise though he was, the old man often confused things. As far as the former statement goes he could also be referring to a saving man's good friend, Interest.

It's nice that banks pay you to hold on to your money, very kind of them. Of course some also charge you to take your money or move your money around; think checking costs, transfer fees, and those roguish ATM charges. And when you're dealing with one of those brick and mortar, Greek column, bedrock facilities of finance (which often fold like a deck of cards) you should know that you're not getting paid enough. Today I looked at two such institutions to see what they were offering in way of interest for saving accounts. If you're a small fish you might get .2%, if you can afford to leave $25,000 rotting in a savings account, then they hop you up to .45%, almost half a percentage point, which will yield you a whopping $112 dollars at the end of the year, and they said the first the million is the hardest. Of course there are CDs but they require large opening balances and you can't touch your money for 8 months, or whatever.

Well ING is here to save us from the tyranny of our banks. They ask for no minimum balance and offer ten times the other banks' high-roller's rate. And they extend a similar deal even to checking. It's a no brainer. Of course you have to be comfortable with the internet and trust that some cyberpunk won't run off with your funds, but even if such a feat is pulled off, we've got the FDIC to swoop in and bail us out. So barring nuclear annihilation, your money is safe, and safely earning interest. Lots of interest. I opened one less than two weeks ago and have already gotten $1.13. Woo hoo! Bubble gum's on me boys!

I looked into how they make their money. It basically boils down to the fact that you can't play with it right away. They loan your money out and charge someone else twice the interest. They also have a much loved mortgage racket. Added to the fact that they don't have any brick and mortar overhead and you reap the benefits.

So I say dump your big market bank and get with the new wave kids.

Packed breakfast and lunch today. And I used my old bank to turn rolled change into cash. But that won't count towards my bank roll. So on to...

The Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance: $-26.50

IN: $10

OUT: $0

BALANCE: $-16.50