Stella Gives it a Go

Hello, Paul's adoring fans. I'm Stella, Paul's co-worker and rather poor substitute for a frugal blogger (see below for the full story). A little while ago, Paul proposed the "Gotham Frugal Challenge" over office tea-time, which I accepted like the cocky jerk that I am, sure that it would be cake. Delicious and affordable cake.

I had a few (cheap) tricks up my sleeve, for instance, Dumpling House on Eldridge by the Grand Street B/D stop in Chinatown. The tiny kitchen and even tinier eat-in quarters serves up authentic potstickers, as the joint's name might suggest. They are snatched up faster than the Mandarin-speaking ladies clad in white paper hats can make them: uniformly crispy fried bottoms, steaming pork and chive filling, just greasy enough that they must (with no objections from this eater) be doused in Sriracha and soy sauce. At five for a dollar, there is no frugal-gourmet equal. Also of note are the boiled dumplings (10 for $2), and the beef noodle soup ($3), though these items may be more attractive for their price than their flavors. I still have yet to try the sesame pancakes: huge flat disks of fried dough coated in sesame seeds, wedged like pizza slices and stuffed with meat and vegetables. I usually get my dumplings to-go, park it by the basketball courts near Grand and Chrystie, and gawk at the massive confusion that is Chinatown ball.

Notice that I have not actually said that I ate there on Friday. Well, my dear reader, it's because I didn't. Frugal in theory is not frugal in practice, the lesson du jour for this reckless spendthrift. In theory, I could have eaten at Dumpling House and had enough left over to scratch the Friday night itch so familiar to the twenty-something in me, and grab a drink at a sticky-floored, notoriously cheap bar (Cheap Shots on 1st Ave b. E 9th and St. Mark's is a favorite during
off-peak hours). But in practice, I found it hard not to say "Fuck it, Stella. It's not your damn blog anyway."

On Friday, four of my friends and I spent the bulk of the night at Cooper 35 Asian Pub (on Cooper Square just below E 6th), where they serve barely passable, barely Asian grub and watered-down drinks on the cheap. $4 cocktails include martinis, mojitos, margaritas, and whiskey sours-- but buyer beware, you get what you pay for here. My gin martini was one part well gin, one part vermouth, and one part tap water. We would have left sooner if it weren't for the coincidence of the following facts: 1. The service was excellent. The waiter was on point, and as a result, the drinks came quicker than my high school boyfriend. I definitely had drinks that I would never otherwise order just because the waiter asked (kamikaze shots and a Jager-bomb? I plead the fifth.) 2. We were sitting in the outdoor patio. This means that none of us needed to get up for cigarettes, and instead focused all our time and energy into getting drunker by the minute. 3. They brought us edamame. Hook, line, and sinker.

We spent so much time there that we racked up a $170 bill, and we were too drunk to question it. With tax and tip, between the five of us, that's just above $40 each. So much for a ten bucks a day.

The following night some friends and I went to Reservoir on University Place between E 10th and 11th. This spot may be old news for some, but I'm not an NYU student, and moreover I've migrated to the outer burroughs (I live in Astoria), where news of hip happenings arrives via Pony Express, which is a decidedly inconvenient mode of transport on the Queensboro Bridge. Reservoir was good overall: we had excellent service again (apparently we look like chump fools, shaking uncontrollably from alcohol withdrawal every time we walk into a bar), and we staked out the best seats in the house-- two huge comfy couches that faced each other in the back corner, forming a private living room area for the four of us. The Saturday night beer special was an old faithful: Yuengling amber lager at $3.50 a pint. We also got a very tasty, pleasantly crispy, well-sauced basket of 20 hot buffalo wings for $7.50.

Rather than shock and awe the Gotham Frugal audience with the again exorbitant bill our Saturday night came to, I will quickly change the subject and list some of our drunken jukebox selections: Otis Redding "Hard to Handle," Deee-Lite "Groove Is in the Heart," Toadies "Possum Kingdom," Daft Punk "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger," The Animals "House of the Rising Sun."

All in all, folks, I will have to confess defeat. The Frugal part of me has suffered a rather severe beating from the Gotham part of me, and despite my wide-eyed and bushy-tailed belief that knowledge of a few good deals in this city would help keep me within a budget of $10 a day, I lack the commitment. Also, I drink like a fish.

But I do have a newfound respect for Paul's cheap ass (though I have to say, Paul, cab fare is your Achilles' heel). And even though I lost the Gotham Frugal Challenge, I reserve the right to say: "Fuck it. It's not my goddamn blog anyway."

Starting balance: $0

In: $20

Friday:
Chicken & rice halal: $5
Cocktails and shots at Cooper 35: $45

Saturday:
Lentil soup at Murray's Bagels: $4
Beer and wings at Reservoir: $20

Balance: -$54