Reclining on a blanket in Central Park, New York City, New York.

Over my head, I see the bronze fireworks
alive in the night sky,
bursting like the golden crescendo
of the horns against high rises.
The wine bottles follow one another
into the distances of empty.
To my right
the Philharmonic from a speaker stack.
The intermissions are full of silence
and the actual concert sounds like
the intermission.
I lean back, as the evening darkens and comes on.
A red-tailed hawk plucks pigeons from the sky.
I have wasted my life.

Got invited to Central Park for a picnic and the Philharmonic. Couldn't come empty handed so I had to buy Duane Reade Dorritos and Pringles. But what's this in my wallet? $5 off Duane Reade coupon. Good saving. But then I bought a beer.

DAILY BREAKDOWN,

Start Balance: -$76.50

In: $10

Out:
Soap: $1.25
Chips: $1.50
Beer at the park, plus tip: $5

Balance: -$74.25

This post was stolen from poet James Wright. Check him out.

Hints and Ruminations

Some of you have been kind enough to offer a few suggestions to help me alleviate my massive debt. Some of the suggestions were having a stoop sale, going pro and finding a rich benefactor, making concessions for big expenses, hustling for the cash or setting aside a wardrobe budget in case I might have another shoe emergency. This wasn't such an emergency after all because there happened to be a Payless 3 blocks from my house and they seemed to have something of a "no questions asked" policy.

Though these expenses have got me thinking about adding to my budget. How detailed should your budget be? I estimate what my bills will be when putting together a budget. I know Netflix is going to be a certain amount and I tend to spend a few dollars on comic books every month. I justify my entertainment expenses as they make it a bit easier not to wander outside and spend more money. But should I be budgeting for clothes? Should I be setting money aside for monthly haircuts? Should I add laundry costs to my budget? That all seems so formal. And though none of these things cost me any thing above $20 a week. Except the haircuts. (I've been told to check out bbmodelproject.com where you can sign up for a free haircut. Keep in mind you have no control there.) Anyway, the point is, I have a budget but I like to keep it loose. Money for all that other stuff can come out of whatever is left after the bills are paid. Though keeping it loose may be costing me. Even it does, it may be worth it to my mental state not to nickel and dime myself to death.

Today I did nothing. It was wonderful. Woke up, got some coffee and spent the morning reading. That was great. I hopped on Photoshop and reworked my banner for the blog. I returned the shoes and then had to buy some more groceries so I can live. And I went to the gym. Is that doing nothing?

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting Balance: -$117.50

In: $10
Shoes: $43.50

Out:
Coffee and donuts. $3.25
Groceries: $9.25

Ending Balance: -$76.50

Gotham to Gotham

Well folks, I haven't posted at all the past few days because I've been on the road. I traveled to Chicago because two good friends of mine got married. I was there to pay witness to their act of unity. It's a pretty intense thing, marriage.

Anyway, this is the Gotham Frugal and not the Frugal Traveler, so I don't really save any money when I travel. In fact I blew way over my daily budget before 10 AM on Friday. The flight is part of the starting card balance. Which I made my first payment on, hooray. And I managed to stay with friends the first night so I didn't have to pay for lodging.

I'll just give a list of my expenses and let them tell the story.

DAY 1
Breakfast $6
Airport Shuttle $15
2-Day Chicago Metro Pass (used once) $9
Dinner $20
Bar $10

Don't know how I got away with spending that little at a bar, but I did 'morning after math,' which means that you look in your wallet to see how much you spent. This was the number I came up with.

DAY 2
Coffee $3
Breakfast $8
Hotel $25 (I still owe for this, but we split the room 6 ways. Slumber party!)
Shoes $43.50

I left my shoes at my friend's place so I went out and bought a pair at Payless, so I'd look OK at the wedding. I'm going to try and return them tomorrow. If it works out that'll go in the "In" number. The wedding was great and I had five too many Red Bulls and Vodkas. Ah, Temperance where for art thou?

DAY 3
McDonalds $3.25 (I know, I know. A shameful and craven act to put such garbage in the temple that is my body, but I'm calling this a utility stop.)
Shuttle from Midway to O'Hare $15
Airport WiFi $7
Bottled water: $1.50
Airtrain $5
Wendy's $2.50 (Twice in a day, sigh)
Beer $1

So on to the BREAKDOWN:

Starting Balance $28.25

IN: $30 (3 days)

OUT: $175.75

Ending Balance: -$117.50

After I return the shoes it should be closer to $70 in the red. Hmm. This is quite a setback. One I'll have to carefully consider. Do I claim amnesty on behalf of leaving NYC? Do hit the reset button and start again? Or do I gradually work to get this new negative under control? I think it will be the last one for a little bit. Let's see if I crack under the pressure.

A Unicorn On Rollerskates Powered By Puppy Kisses

If irony were a river that ran through out the world I'm pretty sure you could trace the source back to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Everyday at the crack of noon, millions of hipsters peel themselves off the floor of their $800/month apartment, throw a greasy hand through perfectly clean hair, pull on a 20 year old t-shirt that cost$3 when it was made and cost them $80 out of their trust fund and schlep down to a coffee shop to bitch in a tone that mocks but never smiles about how they're roughing it. And today I canceled a date with a friend to head into this wilderness of cool to see one of my favorite comedians, Patton Oswald.

Patton was making a free appearance at "Sound Fix" one of those record stores I mentioned in yesterday's blog. I got their about 2 hours early, hoping to get a good seat. That was a bit too early leaving me to nurse a coffee for around 2 hours. Well, the place filled with smelly hipsters who fetched PBRs and talked about the newest Interpol album. Eventually Patton showed up and stood on a chair sipping 12 year Macallan and regaling us with his drunken adventures watching Jerry Maguire . I ordered a PBR myself so I could drink with Patton and he was hilarious, for about 20 minutes and then he went to sign a bunch of albums. Poor me, I had though he'd be performing for 3 hours but he sounded tired from all the press junkets promoting his new animated rat movie Ratatouille, which I do want to see, along with the boy wizard.

On the way out of the record store I saw a woman who I was standing next to at the Spoon concert last night. I didn't make much of her then, but on second glance she was actually pretty cute. So I asked her, "Weren't you at the Spoon concert last night?"
She said "Yeah"
I said "Did you come for this guy?"
she said "Yeah, and this." holding up the new Spoon album.
I said "Nice, nice." and then walked off, just...like... a...moron! I had a perfect intro. "You've got good taste." Which implies of course. "I've got good taste too." But I walked on down the block, kicking myself the whole way.

So before I went back to Manhattan, I took a walk to lay eyes on a joint called Anytime, which has $1 drinks, just for future reference. Then I talked myself into going back to the record store to see what happens, hoping maybe she was talking to Patton or something. Of course, she was long gone. But Patton was still there, signing albums and taking pictures. Now, as you may have guessed from my interaction with Dominic Chianese, I detest fawning. I think fans behave miserably, and it's an embarrassment to try and make personal connections with people you've only seen on TV. But I figured while I'm here I might as well get his new CD and thank him for making me laugh.

Well, the CDs were sold out. So I thought OK, I'll shake his hand and say goodbye. But as I stood in line empty handed, still feeling like a big social klutz for flubbing my chances with that woman, I saw someone taking picture after picture of Oswald, I saw Oswald's smile become a grimace in the red pre-flash glare, and I thought "I'll spare him one more jerkoff to deal with," and then I went home.

After this day of mild disappointment, I decided to recover a bit by ordering some steamed dumplings, and a grabbed a beer from the bodega.

DAILY BREAKDOWN

Balance: $29

IN: $10Publish Post

OUT:
Coffee: $2
Pabst Blue Ribbon: $3
Chinese Dumplings: $3.75
Beer: $1
Paper Towels: $1

Balance: $28.25

Spoon Fed For Free

Today I woke and packed food. Lots of food. I packed up some of that lentil/barley soup I made on Monday night (here's the recipe, (sub barley for bulgur)), I packed up some oranges, threw in some golden raisins, and made two peanut butter and honey sandwiches. No, I wasn't going camping, but 'Spoon'ing rather. And as my pal Gen has informed me, spooning leads to forking.

Tonight in Rockefella' Park, the Austin indie band Spoon was playing outside for free. I've wanted to see them live every since a pal of mine came back from a Guided by Voices concert raving about this opening act. If you haven't heard them, then skip down to your local "cooler- than-thou" indie record store and ask for them. It might even earn you a tight lipped nod from the wildly pierced and tattooed faces behind the counter.

Right after work I took my foodstuffs downtown to watch the show. But the skies had other things in mind for me and Spoon. Clouds were dumping gallons of rain down on the waiting. I stood out in the rain under my umbrella for a little while until I decided being under an open field near water and trees was not the best idea during a lightening storm. So I found shelter in a parking garage until the rain let up. As soon as it got less biblical, I went back to the concert grounds and waited. I stood inside a forest of umbrellas while the rain got less and less and finally stopped. A woman appeared and announced it would be at least a half an hour until the stage was dry enough for the band to play with out fear of electrocution. Then, to wild cheering, they started removing the tarps covering all the equipment.

Until it started to rain again. I started to lose hope. But I munched on raisins and met a few new friends. Sharing is good. Then the rain stopped and stayed stopped. They decided to skip the opening act and Spoon came out and rocked the park. It was great and even better because I didn't have to pay for it, and I felt a camaraderie with the packed park as we had all stuck it out together. Wet, miserable and rocking. Even when it started to sprinkle and a guy who looked like Ben Gibbard's dad would come out between songs, arms crossed, and sternly speak with Spoon's lead singer Britt Daniel, the band continued to play. Electricity be damned. Eventually the forces that be won and Britt informed us "They're telling us to get off the stage." They finished and waved and our encore calls weren't heard. Still aside from "The Way We Get By" I heard everything I wanted to. It was wet, it was loud, it was Spoon.

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

The only thing I spent today was a few fun hours in the park.

Starting Balance: $19

IN: $10

OUT: $0

Balance: $29

Beat to the Punch, Dodging the Cut, and Meeting the Man

Well, I've never claimed to be much of a genius. Sure, I've had the occasional flash of brilliance, but Issac Newton I'm not. And to prove that I'd like to share this article from the New York Magazine. It appears the author, Jardine had the idea long before me. But read the article and you will see that Jardine lacks vision. Jardine tried it for only a week. Jardine cannot make important sacrifices, like giving up cigarettes. Jardine believes that $8 meatballs are a find. Jardine resorts to begging, she resorts to borrowing, and Jardine, when all this fails, resorts to Craigslist in order to get a meal. With a smile of pure schadenfreude I'd like to report that Jardine got stood up at said Craigslist date.

At the end of her frugal week, Jardine even has a nice little pile of trash to show us which she's artfully arranged. You may feel I'm being hard on Jardine, but I disagree. You see ladies and gentlemen, Jardine is a tourist. And, as is appropriate for all tourists, we should scorn Jardine, or at the very least we should pity her for her insurmountable dullness. The Gotham Frugal is in it for the long haul. This is no fantasy getaway. And to my Hawaiian friend, Kori, who shared this great article with me: "Mahalo, Mahalo nui loa."

This morning I stopped by the grocery store to buy yogurt and I caught my reflection in the store window. It was then that I decided to get a haircut, and being on the low rent tip I went to Supercuts after work. Before going I even printed out a $2 off coupon. When I got to the Supercuts location, I approached the counter, and was told by the fat, smug, gay man "You can have a seat on that bench." I thought 'Oh, can I? Will you allow me the honor of placing my tuckus on this fine cube of plywood and pleather? How privileged I feel." I sat for a moment and watched a young lady hack at man's head with the basest of styling tools, the clippers. I can't tell you how many haircuts have taken a sour turn once the barber turned on that buzz saw of death, and on the way over I prepared myself for telling some underpaid, under trained hair tech how I won't allow them to use their favorite tool. I watched as the man who 'sat' me plunged a straw into his Starbucks frappuccino and began to rehearse my instructions, then I spied the price chart. It was $22, where I expected something closer to $12. Then and there I decided that I'm just going to have to let my locks hang during the wedding, come what may.

I decided to walk the 30 or so blocks home keeping an eye out for a bus I could catch. It was hot, it was East Harlem, and I didn't know the area that well. Plus I always seemed to be a few blocks ahead or behind the limited stop bus that could deliver me to my door. But then, after walking almost all the distance, a little less than a block away from my apartment I saw a familiar looking man step out of a cab. It was, to my delight, none other than Dominic Chianese, better known as Junior Soprano, no doubt headed to the nearby, ultra-exclusive, Italian restaurant Rao's. Our paths crossed and I gave him a casual "Love the show." It didn't quite register, I think he was trying to get his bearings having emerged from the cab, as I got a sort of nod. But then it must've hit him, he'd been payed a compliment. I crossed the street he looked back and gave me a very un-Junior like smile, but warm all the same. The best things in life just may be free.

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting balance: $11.25

IN: $10

OUT:
Yogurt: $2.25

Balance: $19

Free Furniture, No Interest, and Sangria Times

Well, it's a little past check in time and I've been at a bar, drinking. "How?" you may ask, well generous friends who happen to know generous bartenders is one asset I have acquired in my short time in the city.

Today I wanted to explain a bit about my credit card bill. You know, the one I'm trying to pay off. You see, I don't pay any interest on the current card. This is because credit cards often run promotional rates that are nil for the first twelve months. Almost all banks in the credit card business do this. They offer you an easy year, expecting you to go hog wild and leave them with a heap of owed money that they can then rape you with using interest. But banks are egotistical enough to believe that there is no competition. To prove my point, I have on at least two occasions, called my previous credit card company and asked them to drop my interest rates to zero. My thought process was, "Hey, I've been with you for years, I'm just asking for a twelve month suspension of interest charges. Every time I log on to your account, you're offering every johnny-come-lately a no-interest special. I've been with you for years, why not offer the same deal to a friend rather than a stranger?" I've tried this tactic a few times, the most I ever got was a few points reduced on my over all interest rate, which may help you if you don't feel like switching cards. Keep in mind that switching cards can affect the quality of your credit rating, an important number when you want to take out loans or buy a car. Needless to say, I've transfered my balance to a bank offering no interest for 12 months, and, much to their chagrin, I plan on paying it off on time. If you have some spare time, I highly recommend wrestling with your credit card company over the same issue. Explain to them that you could easily switch over to a no interest account and that they should give you the same deal or lose a client. It doesn't work well at all. But it's fun to listen to phone clones stutter.

Today I had the most marvelous piece of luck. I went to my super to ask if she had a vacuum cleaner I could borrow. The answer was, as always, long, complicated, and totally my fault. In this case the problem was that I didn't ask four days ago. Apparently there was a brand new vacuum cleaner available because a tenant recently vacated their apartment and left nearly everything behind. I was led upstairs to an almost fully furnished room and told that I could have what ever was there. By simply inquiring, I managed to snag a book shelf, a coffee table, and an entertainment center. My apartment is beginning to look practically respectable. Lamenting my loss of the vacuum cleaner the landlady said, "I put it out on the sidewalk and a half an hour later, that shit was gone," The last word was accompanied by a dramatic spreading of the narrator's arms. You'd think that vacuum cleaner was gold, the way she fussed. I love my super. How many New Yorkers can say that?

After installing the new furniture and cooking a lentil/barley soup, (for which I had to buy a $2 bag of onions) I got a call from a friend urging me to come down to Union Square. Fortunately, she understands that I am now THE Gotham Frugal and offered to buy, so I got down there to get fairly buzzed off of some strong sangria.

Eventually I made it home, desperate as always to bring you...

THE DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting balance $3.25

IN : $10

OUT:
Onions: $2

Ending balance $11.25

Tossing Salad on Governor's Island

Today I set off alone for Governor's Island. A small patch of land south of Manhattan. This place was once used as a munitions depot for the US Army. Now it looks like a deserted antebellum neighborhood. It's a bit weird. And even weirder today as it was host to "Figment." Try saying it with all the artsy pretense you can muster, "Figment!" That was fun, huh? And you get a sense of what goes on at such an event. It was a sort of free form festival with events like drum circles, art instillations, medieval weapons booth and, notably, women painted in gold and silver running around half naked. I was told it was very similar to "Burning Man," only this was less.

It was one of those events full of people who make it difficult for me not to judge them. I was aware, almost immediately, of what a square I am. The women in superhero outfits were a clear indication that this wasn't so much my gig. Looking over the roster of events, I skipped the group building games, and getting my picture taken in a bath tub and decided that it would be the nature walk for me: Mr. Excitement.

After walking around looking for a sign that said, "Nature Walk" I asked the booth and found that it would be conducted by a man in a red cowboy hat. Without him in sight I took a rest and waited. Then a strange music filled the air and women in long skirts and very short shirts began to dance. It was a group of belly dancers. I'm a sucker for skilled hips and here were four sets of them. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with at least one of them. After this closed I spotted a group of people around a man wearing a red cowboy hat. It turns out that this particular nature hike featured edible plants. Which is great for the Gotham Frugal, because now I can wander into a vacant lot and walk out with a salad. The guide also was happy to point out those plants around us that had psychoactive properties. Who knew you could get high from actual weeds? The walk concluded with us eating a salad made from the various plants we encountered, topped with some tasty homemade walnut mustard vinaigrette of the guide's own preparation. My favorite edible plant was the daylily, which had a very buttery taste to it and was bright orange, breaking up the green of the salad.

Afterwards I bought a $2 12 ounce can of coke and felt like an ass for doing so. This was from a street cart, one of two on the Island. That's the power of supply and demand peoples. Back in the Barrio I did my own laundry for the first time in 4 or 5 months. I'm so used to just handing the people my bag and walking away. The laundry mat is so close I was able to cook some grub for the week while doing the laundry.

Not a bad Sunday, and for the first time since this experiment began, I have a positive balance. So on to the ....

Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance -$0.25

IN: $10

OUT:
Coke: $2
Laundry: $4.50

Balance: $3.25

Trains, Trance, and Toilet Paper

I'm sitting down with some tuna mac and leftover Charles Shaw as I write tonight's entry. The big charges of the day came from needing laundry detergent, coffee and toilet paper, which my passed out friend informed me I was out of, once she woke up.

Decent morning. Made a jalapeño, onion, cheddar omelette for breakfast. Racked up some stars on Guitar Hero, and went to workout. Then I packed up some leftover pasta from last night, an orange and water and headed out to Summer Stage in Central Park, probably my favorite free place in the universe.

There I saw Cinematic Orchestra, an acid jazz band. They weren't much to dance to, though that didn't stop this kid. Mostly all you could do is stand there and do what I like to call the 'Trey sway.' If you've been to Phish concert, you understand. Speaking of Phish, I noticed these two splitting beers and was slightly jealous, but beer at concerts is actually kinda tyrannical. It takes time and stress and lines and being overcharged to get them. Today my budgetary limits taught me that there is a relaxing freedom to just saying "No." I got to lay there, close my eyes and enjoy the music, smell the ganga in the air, and let my mind go. If I was in a spending frame of mind it would be a constant eyeballing of the beer cup and wondering when I was headed back to the beer line and spending the beer money.

It was nice to lie out in the sun, and I'm also almost entirely sure that I sat about 6 feet away from Ben Curtis who you all will recognize as the Dell Dude. Also, sitting nearby was Max the Intern, a kid from work. His brother, Sam the Intern showed up later. One odd thing about this town is that, even though I'm new, every couple of weeks I just run into someone I know. It seems improbable in a city of 8 plus million, but it happens all the time.

After the concert ended and I said goodbye to my friend I headed towards Brooklyn. It being the first Saturday of the month means free happenings at the Brooklyn Museum. But today I was reminded how terrifically the subway can ruin your plans. They always run squirrelly on the weekends due to construction. I assume the impetus being that it will be less disruptive to people to do construction on your off time rather than going all nutty during the week. But since most New Yorkers blame any tardiness on the subways running funny, I think MTA should do their business during the week and let us have the trains running properly on our time and not the man's. Needless to say, I couldn't take the 4 or 5 directly to the Brooklyn Museum, so after a missed stop and a wrong exit and a $1 bottle of water, I decided the Brooklyn Museum could wait till next month. I headed home for Chuck and Tuna Mac.

Now for the numbers.

Starting balance -$3.50

In: $10

Out: Detergent: $3:25
Coffee: $1:50
Toilet Paper: $1
Water: $1

Balance: -$0.25

I'll Make the Pasta, You Bring the Wine

This is a cheap way to get a buzz on. And pasta isn't all that expensive. So tonight my friend wanted to come over and eat and watch a movie. I said I'll make the pasta you bring the wine. But it's way to hot tonight to do anything but hang out by the AC and listen to music. So she's well fed and drunk on my couch. Still the ingredients cost me $7.50. But she brought over 3 bottles of three-buck chuck so it cost her about the same.

Viva New York, peoples.

DAILY BREAKDOWN

Starting Balance: -$6.00

In: $10

Out: $7.50

Balance -$3.50


And if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last.

The Siren Call of the Grocery Store

Last night after my bitch fest I went to a friend's house for a 4th party. I got to watch fireworks from a Manhattan roof. My first time. A nice way to ring in the 231st birthday of our nation. I split cab fare home, so that cost me $5. But it was worth it. The subway can be a drag. And no doubt the 6 would be teaming with sleepy eyed parents and their cranky progeny. When I got out of the cab there were lots of loud bangs in my neighborhood. In East Harlem, you rarely think of fireworks first. But that's what it was. They were shooting rockets off in the middle of East 115th St which was great. The whole block was covered in red and green light to the delight of los ninos. Man, I love El Barrio.

Meanwhile, tie me to the center poll of the bus and let me gaze longingly on the weekly specials, for the Associated Supermarket serenades me and my will is weak. As I mentioned in my whiny fit yesterday, it is the dwindling groceries that make this man feel poor. Like an stranded islander counting out his rations, my hope shrinks with my foodstuffs.

So alas I ventured into the grocery store to make some purchase. Sausages were on special, a pound for $2 and I've got a recipe from Giada that's so good you'd think I watch the show for the food. So I picked the ingredients up for that and got a bag of oranges to snack on. In the meantime I whipped up the delicious southern delicacy of salmon croquettes ala Paula Dean, 'with just uh pat o' buhtuh.' You can trust Paula Dean. Just look at her; you know that woman can cook. Keep this in mind people, never trust a skinny cook. Except me. You can trust me.

Needless to say, I'm going to cook big this weekend and have a plethora of eats for the coming week. I won't be skinny for long.

So here's a two day break down because I skipped yesterday.

STARTING BALANCE: -$6.50

IN $20

OUT
Cab fare: $5
Groceries: $14.50

BALANCE: -$6.00

Nobody knows the trouble I've seen...

Well, this is turning out to be much harder than anticipated. $10 a day has turned out to mean staying inside and not doing anything. Also worrying about food. Watching the chicken dwindle in the fridge, the Hangandaz disappear and spending a lot of time sober.

Meanwhile it's the day of our nation's Independence and I am legally bound to celebrate. I need to get out of the house and go see the fireworks or go to a bar. That means "Goodbye, money." I'm acting the cheapskate at the moment, which I'm planning on this moment lasting 6 months, but in real life I'm not that cheap. I tip well, I eat well, and I like to buy for my dates when I'm with one. But you can't treat your date on today's balance of $3.50. Unless she adores Raman.

Then next week I've got a wedding coming up in another town which means buying food elsewhere. I need a haircut which I typically pay $40 for, and I'd like to get someone to polish my shoes. So I guess the answers here are a) pack a lunch or eat cheap, b) go to Supercuts, and c) polish my own damn shoes.

Someone please sing the theme song of Good Times for me. Balance to come.

The Third of July

Somewhere out in America tonight, people are setting off fireworks. You know what?
They're a day early.

Not much happened today. Again the packed breakfast/lunch combo saved me from spending anything. That's what makes me cool.

Starting Balance: $-16.50

IN: $10

OUT: 0

Balance: $-6.50

Horray tomorrow I can spend $3.50. How will I?

Your Bank Hates You...Fire Them

As wise man fond of cliches once remarked, "A penny saved is a penny earned." I'd like to think he was referring to the fact that looking for bargains and not giving into the temptation to spend signified an effort that could in effect double your money. But it was hard to tell seeing as how he immediately followed with, "An apple a day keeps the crabs away." Wise though he was, the old man often confused things. As far as the former statement goes he could also be referring to a saving man's good friend, Interest.

It's nice that banks pay you to hold on to your money, very kind of them. Of course some also charge you to take your money or move your money around; think checking costs, transfer fees, and those roguish ATM charges. And when you're dealing with one of those brick and mortar, Greek column, bedrock facilities of finance (which often fold like a deck of cards) you should know that you're not getting paid enough. Today I looked at two such institutions to see what they were offering in way of interest for saving accounts. If you're a small fish you might get .2%, if you can afford to leave $25,000 rotting in a savings account, then they hop you up to .45%, almost half a percentage point, which will yield you a whopping $112 dollars at the end of the year, and they said the first the million is the hardest. Of course there are CDs but they require large opening balances and you can't touch your money for 8 months, or whatever.

Well ING is here to save us from the tyranny of our banks. They ask for no minimum balance and offer ten times the other banks' high-roller's rate. And they extend a similar deal even to checking. It's a no brainer. Of course you have to be comfortable with the internet and trust that some cyberpunk won't run off with your funds, but even if such a feat is pulled off, we've got the FDIC to swoop in and bail us out. So barring nuclear annihilation, your money is safe, and safely earning interest. Lots of interest. I opened one less than two weeks ago and have already gotten $1.13. Woo hoo! Bubble gum's on me boys!

I looked into how they make their money. It basically boils down to the fact that you can't play with it right away. They loan your money out and charge someone else twice the interest. They also have a much loved mortgage racket. Added to the fact that they don't have any brick and mortar overhead and you reap the benefits.

So I say dump your big market bank and get with the new wave kids.

Packed breakfast and lunch today. And I used my old bank to turn rolled change into cash. But that won't count towards my bank roll. So on to...

The Daily Breakdown

Starting Balance: $-26.50

IN: $10

OUT: $0

BALANCE: $-16.50

Like Water for Shakespeare

My big plan for today was to feature how attending Shakespeare in the Park is a fun way to do something culturally significant without paying a dime. Apparently some others had this idea much sooner than I did, as they were lined up sometime after dusk last night for the gratis tickets. By the nine in the morning none were available.

Free clearly ain't free. Not in this city. In fact, I think one could make a pretty good living waiting in line. Wait in line for Beastie Boys playing at McCarran pool, wait in line for an iphone, wait in line for Shakespeare in the Park and mark everything up. If you can manage boredom and weather well, this is the job for you.

Truthfully though, this particular Shakespeare in the Park featured Romeo and Juliet as played in a pool of water and I wasn't into it. I don't know what a shallow pool of water has to do with an overrated play. I never thought two teenagers killing themselves over their mutual infatuation was all that sexy. My favorite part of the play is the fact that they know. They meet and their love is a sure thing. They think they can stop looking. That I like. But 'that' is bullshit. Those of us that have had those relationships know how long they last. And if it wasn't for a missed message, well, Juliet would be easily forgettable. Nor would the name Romeo carry the charming association that it does today.

I did get to go to the gym and workout today. I work out at one of the city gyms. It sounds rough and it is, but for $25 you get six months of membership. It's no Clay, but the dumbbells weight the same.

Meanwhile, Fresh Direct showed around four and I tipped the enthusiastically introductory gentleman $2. Then it was on to cooking. Remind me to buy pre-cut mangos in the future.

The Breakdown
Start Balance: $-34.50

In: $10

Out: Tip to the Fresh Direct Dude: $2

Balance: $-26.50